I am thankful for my husband. This person that I stumbled across early in life. This man who is my everything. I love where we are right now in life and our relationship. We have a mutual respect for each other that I know is rare. We are friends, the best of friends really. He is the other half of me. I have no idea how I would get through a day if he weren't right here with me.
I am thankful for my Empress. The girl that I worked so hard to find. The girl that never disappoints. The girl that smiles and bosses and fusses and chatters non-stop. I am amazed at the quickness of her mind, the depth of her emotions, the ferocity of her love.
I am thankful for my parents. My upbringing. The love and respect that I was shown from the very first. I am thankful for their friendship and kindness, the absolute acceptance in their hearts for my children born in foreign lands.
I am thankful for my sister. What can one say about her sister? She is there, she knows me, we are symbiotic. This is the one relationship in my life that I have the hardest time talking about. It is quite profound. My love for her is unlike any other in my heart. It is part parent, part friend, part rival, part .... part everything.
Then there is Brevin. The first boy in my heart. The one that makes me laugh. The one that takes my breath away.
There is another out there. My mystery child. The one that I am longing for. Yes, I am even thankful for the longing.
I am thankful for Jodi. My friend. The one that is good for solid advice, hair appointments, casserole dishes and laughs. The person that is, in fact, a female Leslie. The one who is always there.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
And So
And so the holiday season is upon us! I nearly had a panic atack in Costco yesterday, thinking of all of the cooking and cleaning and planning that will go on for the next 4 weeks. I do love it though. I love being close to family and having Ev around her cousins and Grandparents at such an important age.
- Les just took me out last week for a fancy dinner and then to see Wicked. What an awesome night that was. I loved every minute. I just couldn't believe that there was all of this surplus time to talk with each other! Ev spent 2 nights at Aunt Melissa's so Les and i had a much needed mini vacation.
- I still don't have that Home Study in my hands. That's not freaking me out too much.
- I am now truly in the market for a job.
- Evelyn is reading more and more every day. She did concede last week that I MAY know more than her because I can read anything but she can only read her school books. She followed that statement up by saying "it won't always be like that though- one day I will go to college"
- A little neighborhood girl is here playing today. Let's call her G. This kid goes number two every single time she steps inside my house then she gets all critical about my snacks. What's up with that?
- Evelyn has had her very first Christmas Disappointment. She wants a certain gift and Les and I have had to sit her down and tell her absolutely not. That will not be a gift that she gets as we have very strong personal feeling about it. We had to tell her before Christmas because she was really working herself into a froth over it- I would rather her be disappointed now then on Christmas morning. (Please note that I did not mention what she wants as I would hate for Gma and Gpa to get one and then have to return it)
- We have a great trip planned in mid-December with Lissa and Brevin and Grandma and Grandpa. I can not wait!!! We have a cabin rented and there will be train rides and Santa and ice skating!!!!
Well, I am off to fix a late lunch for Ev and G. The I am going to clean this house and get it ready for company. By the way? I have a HORRIBLE headache that I think is either a migraine or just plain old sinuses but I am sort of expecting my head to pop off any minute. My hair is hurting and my vision gets blurry every once in awhile. I wanted to cry last night but decided that it would only make my head hurt worse so I toughened up.
Monday, November 16, 2009
What? The? Heck?
I have been fretting a bit about "The Adoption". That's how it looks in my head when we say that, "THE ADOPTION".
It seems that our finalized home study has been completed and mailed of to our agency for them to review and review for "THE DOSSIER". This is a big thing. It means that once we get that in our hot little hands, things will be up to me for a bit. That is the way that I like it. So much of this process depends on other people- it just feels so helpless sometimes.
Knowing that the home study will soon (hopefully soon) will be in my hands for me to complete the final four steps and get it all sent to China means that I have been in a frenzy of paper fawning. This is where I pull every document back out and compare it with the checklist for the hundredth time- just to "make sure". This really does help me sleep better at night.
Last night I had my folder and my freshly Authenticated Documents (11 of the 13 that we will need in total)- I said to myself "self, you better check those Immigration Papers" Then I said to myself "self, you have already done that like 100 times, stop being psycho". Then I said to myself "Yes. But have you looked at the page numbers and verified that they are in order?" The answer was that no, technically I have never paid much attention to the page numbers, so I listened to myself.
Good thing that I did. Page 6 was missing! No page 6!!!! What the hell?
So. Les will reprint that package of what I call "very important info-crap" and we will have page 6.
I do not want to even think about the delay if I had sent that package off to D.C. with out page 6. Probably horrible delays and double payments and .......complete mental and social breakdown of this household.
Those quiet suggestions that I get? They are what makes me know that Somebody Important In the Grand Scheme of Things is watching out for me.
If you have never done an adoption, these Immigration Papers are your official request to the USCIS to approve you to bring home a foreign born child(their term, not mine). They are a bit tedious and each question has sub questions and the section for the primary requester is slightly different than the section for the spouse. So it can be easy to get confused and turned around and not notice that your section ends differently than your husbands.
It seems that our finalized home study has been completed and mailed of to our agency for them to review and review for "THE DOSSIER". This is a big thing. It means that once we get that in our hot little hands, things will be up to me for a bit. That is the way that I like it. So much of this process depends on other people- it just feels so helpless sometimes.
Knowing that the home study will soon (hopefully soon) will be in my hands for me to complete the final four steps and get it all sent to China means that I have been in a frenzy of paper fawning. This is where I pull every document back out and compare it with the checklist for the hundredth time- just to "make sure". This really does help me sleep better at night.
Last night I had my folder and my freshly Authenticated Documents (11 of the 13 that we will need in total)- I said to myself "self, you better check those Immigration Papers" Then I said to myself "self, you have already done that like 100 times, stop being psycho". Then I said to myself "Yes. But have you looked at the page numbers and verified that they are in order?" The answer was that no, technically I have never paid much attention to the page numbers, so I listened to myself.
Good thing that I did. Page 6 was missing! No page 6!!!! What the hell?
So. Les will reprint that package of what I call "very important info-crap" and we will have page 6.
I do not want to even think about the delay if I had sent that package off to D.C. with out page 6. Probably horrible delays and double payments and .......complete mental and social breakdown of this household.
Those quiet suggestions that I get? They are what makes me know that Somebody Important In the Grand Scheme of Things is watching out for me.
If you have never done an adoption, these Immigration Papers are your official request to the USCIS to approve you to bring home a foreign born child(their term, not mine). They are a bit tedious and each question has sub questions and the section for the primary requester is slightly different than the section for the spouse. So it can be easy to get confused and turned around and not notice that your section ends differently than your husbands.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Just Because
I have been rather wordy latey (embarassed cough)....SO here are a few pictures for your viewing enjoyment.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Influences
I always try to find interesting women or girls to expose Ev to. I want her to see that a girl or a woman can do or be anything. I point out female doctors and bus drivers, I point out female cops and construction workers. Another thing that I do is try to expose her to strong and influential women in music, mostly this is just fun. I have tried early Madonna, Cyndi Lauper, Fergie, Gwen Stefani, Bette Midler, Kate Bush... she would be bop a bit and then wander off and never request their music again.
Then two days ago I came across a chic that I like very much indeed. Amanda Palmer. Ev wandered in when I was watching a video on you tube, she was struck silent. She climbed up on my lap and watched every single video that I could find for her with Amanda Palmer.
Miss Palmer has a definite style and way about her, the most evident thing is her make up and fashion. So Ev first watched this video......(if you don't like the music just turn the volume down until you get to see her face)
Then we watched a make-up tutorial on how to get this look.
Then we watched the following video a bunch of times. Among others.
Today Ev drug out not only her own make up but mine too. She achieved a very interesting facsimile of Amanda's look I think. Then she grabbed her portable music player, plugged her buds in and asked of we could take her into Cleveland for her to sing on the street.
So I have finally influenced my daughter. To be a tarted up Street Musician. Nice.
For the record, I actually think this is all pretty fun and cool. I mean, I wanted to dress up like Amanda Palmer too!
Then two days ago I came across a chic that I like very much indeed. Amanda Palmer. Ev wandered in when I was watching a video on you tube, she was struck silent. She climbed up on my lap and watched every single video that I could find for her with Amanda Palmer.
Miss Palmer has a definite style and way about her, the most evident thing is her make up and fashion. So Ev first watched this video......(if you don't like the music just turn the volume down until you get to see her face)
Then we watched a make-up tutorial on how to get this look.
Then we watched the following video a bunch of times. Among others.
Today Ev drug out not only her own make up but mine too. She achieved a very interesting facsimile of Amanda's look I think. Then she grabbed her portable music player, plugged her buds in and asked of we could take her into Cleveland for her to sing on the street.
So I have finally influenced my daughter. To be a tarted up Street Musician. Nice.
For the record, I actually think this is all pretty fun and cool. I mean, I wanted to dress up like Amanda Palmer too!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
There Have Been Moments
Let's jump away from the behavior stuff for a bit. I am beginning to be weary of it.
Even in these days when she has been a complete poop, there have been moments when I laugh at her, wonder at her beauty, want to hug her fiercely (and do so), fall in love with her all over again, been completely amazed at her strength as a person.
Let's see. Her strength. OK. this may seem to be a bit "oh what a brat" but it's not really- Leslie and I always end up marvelling over these types of moments and ironically, as strict as we can be, these are not times that she gets in trouble. Like what you ask? Okay. Riding her bike Saturday with Les, she fell off. Her first fall. She got a scrape and she got mad. Spitting mad. She was hurt and betrayed. Les performed all of the appropriate ministrations and noises and consoling. Ev flatly refused to get back on her bike. Les KNEW that if she did not ride her bike right then, that she would never ride it again- ever (yes he was right and not exaggerating at all). So he was trying to get her helmet back on her and she fought him tooth and nail, in the middle of the sidewalk! He said it was like in the cartoons when they are trying to get a cat in a tub of water.... there was yelling (on her part) and cussing (on her part)....finally he had to trick her and get her hands busy with picking up her bike and then he had to jam her helmet on quick and strap it. Then she got even more mad. Then the fireworks started. By the time they got home Les was sweating and pale and completely worn out. He had to have a beer. Apparently she got on the bike but drug her feet, rode the brakes and all sorts of silliness for the 4 blocks home.
In the bath tub yesterday she was playing. It was "Magic Potion Making Game show with Plot" . She was a witch running a contest to see who would have to drink her sleeping potion, but she also had a witch sister that she was being the voice for too. The sisters do not agree on anything. I heard things like "well sister that won't work" "yes it will sister" "no it will not you witch" "you are the witch and it will work" "actually we are both witches and just, call our next contestant!"
(evil giggles) water splashing "well that potion worked after all" hee hee hee. "Now I call down mama Dillon!" splash splash "oh no!!!!!!!!!" She is a witch!" She has poisoned this house!!!!!!!" "aggghhhh! splash splash gurgle.
I snuck into her room yesterday while she was napping and got beside her and looked at her, and listened to her breathe and then before I knew it, I felt just like Holly Hunter in Raising Arizona. You know when Nic Cage hands her the baby for the first time and she sits there and looks at him and then breaks down completely and shouts "I-I-LOVE-H-HIM-S-SO-MU-UCH!!!!" and then Nic Cage says "I know you do baby"? That scene. That's how I feel about Ev alot of the time. (I tried to find a link to a you tube video of that scene but it did not exist)
Even in these days when she has been a complete poop, there have been moments when I laugh at her, wonder at her beauty, want to hug her fiercely (and do so), fall in love with her all over again, been completely amazed at her strength as a person.
Let's see. Her strength. OK. this may seem to be a bit "oh what a brat" but it's not really- Leslie and I always end up marvelling over these types of moments and ironically, as strict as we can be, these are not times that she gets in trouble. Like what you ask? Okay. Riding her bike Saturday with Les, she fell off. Her first fall. She got a scrape and she got mad. Spitting mad. She was hurt and betrayed. Les performed all of the appropriate ministrations and noises and consoling. Ev flatly refused to get back on her bike. Les KNEW that if she did not ride her bike right then, that she would never ride it again- ever (yes he was right and not exaggerating at all). So he was trying to get her helmet back on her and she fought him tooth and nail, in the middle of the sidewalk! He said it was like in the cartoons when they are trying to get a cat in a tub of water.... there was yelling (on her part) and cussing (on her part)....finally he had to trick her and get her hands busy with picking up her bike and then he had to jam her helmet on quick and strap it. Then she got even more mad. Then the fireworks started. By the time they got home Les was sweating and pale and completely worn out. He had to have a beer. Apparently she got on the bike but drug her feet, rode the brakes and all sorts of silliness for the 4 blocks home.
In the bath tub yesterday she was playing. It was "Magic Potion Making Game show with Plot" . She was a witch running a contest to see who would have to drink her sleeping potion, but she also had a witch sister that she was being the voice for too. The sisters do not agree on anything. I heard things like "well sister that won't work" "yes it will sister" "no it will not you witch" "you are the witch and it will work" "actually we are both witches and just, call our next contestant!"
(evil giggles) water splashing "well that potion worked after all" hee hee hee. "Now I call down mama Dillon!" splash splash "oh no!!!!!!!!!" She is a witch!" She has poisoned this house!!!!!!!" "aggghhhh! splash splash gurgle.
I snuck into her room yesterday while she was napping and got beside her and looked at her, and listened to her breathe and then before I knew it, I felt just like Holly Hunter in Raising Arizona. You know when Nic Cage hands her the baby for the first time and she sits there and looks at him and then breaks down completely and shouts "I-I-LOVE-H-HIM-S-SO-MU-UCH!!!!" and then Nic Cage says "I know you do baby"? That scene. That's how I feel about Ev alot of the time. (I tried to find a link to a you tube video of that scene but it did not exist)
Crabby Appleton
The Threat Status around here has been downgraded to Crabby Appleton. This is a normal and expected level of Grump. This is basically where we step back form the Nukes and smoke a ciggy and THANK GOD that we didn't initiate the launch codes.
Two things may have helped. First she, and by she I mean the The Beast, was purposely allowed to hear me talking to her Grandma about what a stinker she was, then I just simply told her that Grandma said *****"to try and be a good little girl"*****
Then I switched gears on her. I stopped commenting on her behavior and making any deal at all about it. I have started making her say every single snotty thing over and over until the last trace of brat is gone. Then I respond positively and a bit over the top with that. The other thing is that with each small opportunity afforded, I would/will grab her and hug her and kiss her and tickle her a bit or something.
It's working. Something is working. I am starting to think that we have been so hellishly busy that she feels/felt that she was getting a bit neglected or something. I am going to say it here, that is very likely the cause as well, she's spoiled. I know that she is spoiled. I am okay with that. I am okay with that simply because I know that she is spoiled, not for material goods and things, but for the time and attention of her parents. I'm cool with that actually.
***** Grandma technically did not say that. Grandma just listened and groaned a bit, hoping beyond all hope that Ev would not be in trouble, EVAR. Not ever in trouble. Grandma would never utter any word or phrase that she thought might potentially fuel any disciplinary actions. So I cheated a bit, because I thought Ev needed to know that no one in the family was going to stand for her behavior.
Two things may have helped. First she, and by she I mean the The Beast, was purposely allowed to hear me talking to her Grandma about what a stinker she was, then I just simply told her that Grandma said *****"to try and be a good little girl"*****
Then I switched gears on her. I stopped commenting on her behavior and making any deal at all about it. I have started making her say every single snotty thing over and over until the last trace of brat is gone. Then I respond positively and a bit over the top with that. The other thing is that with each small opportunity afforded, I would/will grab her and hug her and kiss her and tickle her a bit or something.
It's working. Something is working. I am starting to think that we have been so hellishly busy that she feels/felt that she was getting a bit neglected or something. I am going to say it here, that is very likely the cause as well, she's spoiled. I know that she is spoiled. I am okay with that. I am okay with that simply because I know that she is spoiled, not for material goods and things, but for the time and attention of her parents. I'm cool with that actually.
***** Grandma technically did not say that. Grandma just listened and groaned a bit, hoping beyond all hope that Ev would not be in trouble, EVAR. Not ever in trouble. Grandma would never utter any word or phrase that she thought might potentially fuel any disciplinary actions. So I cheated a bit, because I thought Ev needed to know that no one in the family was going to stand for her behavior.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)