Brevin and Evelyn

I took these pictures last Monday when Lissa and Brev came up for a visit. It is incredibly difficult to get both of them still and not making silly faces at the same time for photos. These are cute though. This was at snack time and they were holding a Social Discourse.

Behind the ball

Sometimes it takes a bit for me to figure things out. For instance when your child is going on 5 and you lay her down for a nap and then she can't fall asleep before midnight? It probably shouldn't take a week to figure out that she has outgrown her naps (that sound you hear is my soul screaming out in protest as I am 35 and still require daily naps). If you are me, about a week is what it takes.

Last night I finally figured it out. I mean, here we were, the fourth night in a week that Evelyn was seemingly unable to go to sleep. Now, I have ALOT of sympathy for kids who can't sleep. I was and still am like that. I just hate that feeling of laying there in the dark, being wide awake and just having to lay there. It's a pretty horrible feeling. Only a few times in the past has Ev had trouble sleeping, I usually sneak into her room at these times and we have a Midnight Rondevous.

A Midnight Rondevous involves some whispering, bunches of lovin's, the laying down of secret plans, and more often than not, a super special treat and a glass of milk. These used to happen at Ev's beside but here lately with my fractured tailbone, (forgot to tell you about that? yep. Busted my tailbone falling down the basement stairs!) I can't sit on the floor next to her so she comes into our bed for a bit.

Last night I opened her door at midnight to sweep her up and bring her to my bed. When I opened that door however, I was hit in the face with a blast of acetone smell. For a second I was very confused and a bit alarmed and then I realized how very saccharine Evelyn was being. So an Investigation was Launched.

She got bored so she decided that it would be a good time to break out some nail polish and paint her nails.

In bed.

At night.

In the dark.

At midnight.

Thankfully I had plenty of nailpolish remover on hand, and then it was time for the ever so slightly delayed Midnight Rondevous.














PS Billy Bones hates M.R. - he gets completely miffed taht he has to share the bed with Evelyn.




PSS I have just figured out that in addition to growing out of naps, Ev might also be having a bit of emotional stress from the Baby Sister Issue........hum.

Things she's into

I just can't believe that in a few months I will have a five year old on my hands. I was a bit, well, freaked out about it when I realized that it was looming. I mean what do I know about five year olds? I have figured out though, that I don't need to know much about 5 year olds, I just need to know my own five year old.
She has been so funny lately and so full of surprises that she just keeps me laughing and hopping.
*One of her current things is using the word "absolutely"- as in " I am absolutely out of control" or "this is absolutely the dirtiest am-eee-uhl (animal) that I own". Funny.
*She is also gymnastics crazy. She will march up and/or into her room, fire up her music (usually a band called Freezepop) and practice her cartwheels technique over and over.
*She also has constructed a "secret place" (please read secret place as : a rats' nest of papers and detritus) behind my arm chair in the living room. So far she has a blanket, a pillow, many personal belongings, a few amm-ee-uhls- etc. She can spend hours back there, crammed in this tiny space, just talking softly and doing her thing. We never peer over the back of the chair or invade this space in any way, unless specifically requested to by Her Mighty Bossiness. I even knock on the wall if I am passing back food stuffs.

*"Going to China to Get MY Sister". This is a great game that she plays, where-in she packs up a change purse full of nickles and post-it notes bearing her many scribblings (because ya need the hell outta some paperwork)- then she pretends to be on an airplane. Sometimes the plane ride lasts for about 20 minutes, this means that I get 20 minutes of quiet so I am all for this game.

*Naming aforemetioned sister. Her name suggestions have been very interesting and in some cases downright amusing. Okay in all cases down right amusing. Her suggestions to date? Flower, Lizard, Lollipop, C3PO, Han (as in Han Solo from Star Wars), TeddyBear,Ladybug and oddly MP3.

Frantic Scramble

I feel like an update is needed.
Apparently Evelyn wants a sister, needs a sister.
Apparently Leslie and I need and want another daughter.
So, after many months of denial and justifications I have come to see that we are destined to go back to China and bring home another daughter.
WOW!
Yes, that's the announcement. We are on the path towards another adoption.
I am blown away by this. I guess a bunch of people had me figured out before I had me figured out and by a bunch, I mean my sister and Leslie.
I know that I have to finish telling the story of Evelyn and reveal some of the crazy things that I felt, saw, dreamed and "just knew" during the process. For the sake of brevity for this post let's just assume that when you are destined to adopt, certain things just happen. If you start from there you will understand the next few paragraphs more.
About 6 or 8 weeks ago- maybe farther back- I started having dreams. Baby dreams. These dreams left me sad and anxious. I thought about where we were in life and I thought that I was working through letting go of having more than Ev. I was convinced that I was grieving again. I think maybe I was but I also feel that I was being prepared in a way for this past week. As part of the letting go, I decided to try and go through the gazillion totes of baby clothes that I have saved in the attic, and get rid of all but what I wanted to keep to remember for Evelyn. Except that every time I went up there, I would end up all panicky and short of breath and weeping and I would head down here, hug Ev and go about my day. I also found that no matter what I had my mouth say, I just couldn't feel like the decision was final, that door just keep creeping back open every time I tried to close it and move on. This continued, as well as conversations with Leslie that would go nowhere except to leave the door a bit open and the decision ambiguous. And us anxious.
Then Evelyn started mentioning wanting a sister. Then Evelyn started pointing out families with more than one child and wondering why we only had her. I was able to poo poo her and answer some questions and she would let it drop.
She would let it drop - UNTIL the other night at the grocery store. Then I saw her face and into her heart and it all looked so familiar. I cried. Initially I cried for her. Then, I cried because I knew why her expression and longing were familiar. I had felt that same feeling for many years in my life. That longing for a person, no face or name that you knew, just someone out there, someone who you were supposed to love. Then I realized that I was feeling the same thing- again for someone new. Not memories of Evelyn, not grieving for the loss of unknown biological children. I was longing for another dark haired beauty to steal my heart, I just wouldn't admit it fully yet.
Leslie was in Niagra, New York the night that Ev and I saw that tiny girl with her mother. I called him late that night. I told him what had happened. I cried and said "what do we tell her now? we can't get another baby?!!?!?! " Here's where I loose some of the cohesive memory of the conversation, one of us said, "well......." and then we started talking possibilities. I was still in denial. I kept saying what if this and what if that. Leslie got to where he had enough, he said, very firmly, "Michal, what do you WANT?" I said "well, it would be nice but then it would be hard...." He said "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" I gave some other answer. He said "WHAT DO YOU WANT?" I shut up and sat for a minute and it was like a dam broke, I yelled back "I WANT ANOTHER CHILD!!!! I WANT ANOTHER BABY!!! OF COURSE I DO!!!" Then I cried- alot.
Then we started planning and talking.
So, one day Evelyn will have a sister. Hopefully sooner than later. Leslie and I know and feel that we are ready to bring home a child that may need some medical attention at first, we just feel that it is right for us now. There are already things that I know about this youngest daughter, just like I knew things about Evelyn. She is already a part of us. We have just begun the scramble to get her home.
Things that seemed insurmountable last month seem so do-able now. Things that were walls before are now just hurdles in the path.
I will be returning to the workforce, in a way that means Ev does not go to day care. We will be madly squeezing the budget for extra dollars......
but, we are going after that baby girl.

Her Chinese Mother

I have been doing more than a healthy share of thinking since Evelyn and I had "Emotions and Revelations Near the Produce" night.

The topics in my mind have ranged far and wide. I have thought mostly about Bean's reaction, or lack there-of for the Chinese Mother that we saw.
I know that she is just a kid and she doesn't really have a concept of how things work but, she knows not to take toys form other people. I wonder why she thought that it was okay to take that mother's child? Maybe it was because she wanted a sister so badly that she damned the torpedoes. Maybe I am reading WAY too much into this.
I am afraid though that maybe I have to start talking about her Chinese Mother? Somehow it doesn't feel quite right yet. I have talked before about how we backed off on initiating any adoption talk with Ev. I feel that this was the right thing to do for her. She had some issues that were lingering and those have been resolved as soon as we stopped initiating things ourselves. She asks about China quite alot. I am always ready to tell a story or show her a picture. She has just never asked about her Chinese Mother or Father. She knows that babies grow in bellies of their mama's. She knows that she was in an orphanage. She has yet to connect some dots. I am dreading the day that she does.
I know the things that I am planning on telling her when she asks. I know that I will try to explain that her Chinese Mother did love her, how could she not have? I will never know the circumstances that led to Evelyn being left at the gate of that orphanage. I can guess though. I can guess that for whatever reason that woman had no choice.
NO CHOICE. That is a difficult thing for Americans to understand. Having been to China and seen some of the things that I have seen, I get it. There are places and times in this world where people can not , are not allowed to, live how they see fit. There are places where Mother's have no choice to raise their children. Their choice becomes life versus death for these tiny precious babies. When they choose life, they are choosing the hard road. They are risking loosing everything they have and going to prison. They are putting their daughters ahead of themselves. That's about the best scenario that I have. Her Chinese mother had no choice but to choose to abandon her. This must have been done out of love. Who could look at a tiny, beautiful baby and not feel love? I know that this is what I must tell Evelyn. Because to take any other route would mean that one day I have to say to her, I just don't know- I have no guesses, you were not loved. I find that I can't even hardly type those words, how could I ever say them?
I think that I must have to think that way for myself as well. It is hard enough to think about Evelyn on those first days of her life, so tiny and left behind and then think that there was no love for her. I have to leave space in my heart for compassion towards this woman who made a choice that is to me, unfathomable. Because if I don't? Evelyn will know. One day, she will know, she will sense it when we speak. I must believe these things so that one day, she can believe these things. That there was love. That there was something. I will never KNOW.
But, I can guess. And I can hope that I am in some way, right.
I have been looking over the paperwork that we received while in China. One piece of that paperwork is what is called the Certificate of Abandonment. You see, this piece of paper is very important because children who are viable for international adoption must have no ties to any person in China. That means that the separation from her birth family is real and permanent and irreversible. That means that one day when she can read, she will see the line "Yi Fu Mei is an abandoned baby definitely". I have to be ready in my heart to help her read that sentence and take it in, that's my job. I am her Mother. I can't NOT allow her to see these things because she might get hurt. They are a part of who we are. It's all a part of how we are a family. I can not imagine keeping secrets from her.
I wish that I could. But I know, in the end, she will need to know so she can work through things and find herself. She will need to realize that there was love because if there was no love, then she has nothing to build on.

Eavesdropper

This afternoon, I laid Evelyn down for a nap. We said our "good naps", then I was surprised by Ev wanting to give "twenty thirteen lovin's". There was much squeezing and smooching involved. I exited the room after she was all tucked in a loved up. I went about the job of helping Les to get the primer on the hallway (no additional disasters today). I was painting quietly for a bit and then it hit me.
I have a GREAT daughter. I have a GREAT life. I have a GREAT husband.
I said to Leslie" You know? We have a great life. I mean, Evelyn is a great little girl, I love being her Mama......" I was going to continue but I stopped to catch a falling glob of paint and we heard
" Yeah and I love being your guyses kid!" come out from behind her door.
See what I mean?

This is the girl

This is the girl that is my very own heart. This is the girl that smiles and eclipses the sun. This is the girl that has healed me.

I waited so long for her. I'm not talking just about the timeline for the adoption, I am talking about my whole life. It seems sometimes that I was holding my breath for my entire life, that the first true breath that I ever took was the one that I took as my arms encircled her tiny body for the first time.

I never knew how good I could be until I had to learn goodness to be her Mama. I never knew how worried I could get about things in the distant future until I thought/think about the day that she will move out. I never knew how your heart could twist and swell and ache until I watched her sleep. I never knew that being her Mama would mean that I lost myself.

This girl is something special. She is a maddening collaboration of sweetness and stubbornness. She is my blessing in life.

She is my daughter.

This is the girl that says things like "are you gonna make dinner or whiskey dixie?". She is the one that looks at Billy when he meows, decides for herself what he said and then look at him and say " I beg to difference".

This is the girl that conjures bits of paper out of the air and stuffs them into any convenient place. This is the girl that is not above rubbing boogers on her bed railing. This is the girl that is fascinated with cleaning the toilets.

This is the girl that owns my heart.

We also got new hair-do's yesterday....

Our wonderful stylist was talking with Bean and she looked over at me and said "You know? I could put a cute little wedge in Evelyn's hair and she would look so cute" I agreed quickly for 2 reasons, for one I knew that it was time to get something professionally done with Ev's hair and for another, Ev wanted her hair cut at the salon bad. Real Bad. I think it turned out great, and I love that I can see her little neck. This will be ideal for growing her hair out all at one length. She loves it and so do I.

The Produce Department

The Bean and I were in a grocery store tonight. Noteworthy not because we were there, I mean it's a bi-monthly happening folks. But we were there alone, the two of us. Leslie had gone along on most every single grocery trip for about as long as I can remember. Yes, I know that I am spoiled but, I did have some herniated cervical discs that prevented me from being able to push even a lightly loaded cart without crawling around in misery for a week or two- I digress....
So there we were, the two of us. In an attempt to be SuperMama and not spend the entire trip going "oh please just let me get this done and then we can talk" (in review- she's not called things like Jackhammer and Hacksaw for nuttin')- I was trying to keep up with her conversationally, while picking out produce and steering the cart. So, after several minutes, the first thing I wanted to talk about happens.
This woman, who looked very nice and was smiling big, approached us and when I looked at her she asked "May I ask you a question?"- I braced myself, waiting for the obvious adoption questions- which can range from the completely innocent and congratulatory to invasive and judgemental. What a refreshing change this lady was. She simply asked me how old Bean was, not even her name or anything, just how old she was. We told her, she smiled at Bean and spoke with her a second or two. Then she looked at me and congratulated me on having a daughter with "startlingly good vocabulary skills" and then she went on her way. I was stunned. I was thankful. I was proud.
On we go. Red peppers. Celery. Cucumbers. Oranges.
Then there we were in the citrus section between the limes and grapefruits. I looked up and an Asian mother was right next to me with her tiny, 10 month old Asian daughter. This was a cute baby. Dark black hair, gorgeous eyes. All of a sudden I realized that the continuous chatter that emanates from MY Asian daughter had stopped. I snapped my head over to her and she was fine. She was just sitting there, mutely staring at this baby. Then the other mother was looking at Bean and smiling. Through the language barrier we had a very brief conversation, ages and cuteness really. Then we went on our way, The Bean and I.
The silence continued and she kept craning her head to follow the baby. When they got out of her sight, she nearly demanded that I follow them around the store. Then she started in with some questions for me. The first, and most telling I think, was "Who's baby sister is she Mama?"
POW! That went right to my guts. I responded with "I am not sure if she is any one's sister, she may be her Mama's one girl"
E: Well I think that she should be my sister. I really need a sister Mama. I think I would be a good oldest sister.
M: We can't have her as ours Ev, she already has her Mama.
E: Yeah. A China Mama. Not YOU. We can just go and get her.
M: Well, we just can't get any little girl that we think is cute to be ours. That's not how we do that.
E: Well, I want HER.
M: What would you do with her Bean? If you had a baby sister that little, how would you be a big sister to her?
E: I would just.... love her. Yep. Love her and give her naps.
M: silence for several minutes while I studied GD potatoes that I didn't even want just so I wouldn't weep in the store.

I hate that when I looked into Evelyn's eyes tonight as she talked of wanting a sister..... I HATE that I fully recognized that longing. I know where she is coming from. There we both stood, in the produce department, nearly in tears.
What a night.

Dear Brevin

Another year in your life Little Man. I have watched you this year and the one thing that I have noticed above all else is that you truly are one FUNNY person. Notice that I said person and not kid. I think that your sense of humor is far beyond your years. I have never spent a day with you that you did not send me into a fit of belly laughs, most of the time without trying.
There are other things that I love about you though. I love your curly, curly hair and I love the way that you can tell me what hair product to use and how to do it if your Mommy's at work and I give you a bath. I love that bright, clear complexion of yours. I love your sparkly eyes. I love the way you make your voice all low and gravelly when you are playing or being mad. I love that when you run, it's always slightly off balance with your head and chest tipped forward, that's why Uncle Les and I call you "Ole Headlong".
There aren't many children or full grown adults out there that are as truly sweet and loveable as you are. There seems to be a perfect balance of sweetness and boyness inside of you.
I love having you in my life Brevin. I feel honored to be your Aunt. I am so glad that you came along.
Happy Birthday. I think that this third year of yours is going to be a great one.

Three

This is my nephew. He's three. He acts like his mother (this is what he does when you are trying to pose him for the birthday picture).

Oh there's a glimpse of the handsome fellow. Hum now let's see if we can get one with his Mommy......

...after 12 shots, I got one that was okay. But can you see how pretty she is? What a handsome boy he is? Can you detect a bit of attitude still left in the young man? Yep, JUST like his mother.

Well, after this it was time to party.

Then apparently is was time to be Spidermen.(Brev in the black, Bean in the red)



Being three also means that you get to try and eat the candle if you want to.


Post birthday morphed into a continuation of Valentine's Day. Grandma and Lissa had gift bags of goodies for both kids and that was alright with both of them. I think the term is Hog Heaven.

Valentine's Weekend Re-Cap

It was a busy weekend her at the ranch. Friday night we had company- Aunt Jenny and her gang came over for dinner and games, there was Connect Four, Uno and Scene It. After they left , it was about midnight but it was still time to put up some surprise decorations for The Bean, so Leslie and I tucked her in and got to work. I had a bunch of paper heart doilies and red crepe paper so we attacked the living room,then I arranged her Valentine's Basket and then we wrapped Brevin's birthday gifts (party the next day) and THEN we went to bed.

Saturday morning, the Day Bean had been waiting for....She woke up and started down the stairs, when she got a glimpse of the decorations, her eyes lit up and she turned and said "oh I have a HUG for you Mama." And she hugged me with every ounce of her being , then she continued down and looked around but got a bit shy and it took a few moments for her to head over to her basket. The basket was a hit I think, it included a calculator of her very own, Andes Mints (because she is forever trying to scam an entire handful when we go to the Olive Garden), a heart full of fancy chocolates, 4 packs of bubble gum, a bag of cookies, a pink stuffed puppy (that she later named Little Drew) and three tiny pots to with some flower seeds to plant. After we sat around and had some late breakfast, it was time to get ready for Brev's party and get out the door. (more on that party later)

Again we got home late, and it was right to bed. Because..... Sunday was spent with the Aunt Jenny and Aunt Rae clans at the Art Museum and then to Aunt Jenny's for dinner and play time with cousins. Another late night.

Then it was up first thing on Monday for gymnastics and home for a nap....whew!

It was a fun weekend and I loved having Ev so busy that she practically collapsed every night as there was also no time for a nap- the entire weekend.

Pretty Pretty Princess

Discovering Dress Up

I have been stockpiling things for awhile now. Things like wigs and fairy wings and satin gloves. I wanted Bean to have a dress-up box. It's been ready to go for a few months now, she just wasn't ready to play like that. Then one day, she was sorting madly through her dresser and her closet. I asked her what she was doing and she said " I am looking for a dress for my wedding! hump! And I just don't have one that's, I don't know, like, for a wedding" I said to her "Well you might not have anything up here but I think that I saw some sparkly things in that green trunk in your basement playroom" She said " aggh no, I will just ... you know..." and then she turned and POOF! dissapeared on her way to the basement. Ever since that day she will go down and find something to wear. Thankfully, I did have a couple of great little dresses down there (thank you Salvation Army), and magical wands and tu-tu's and shoes. It has been alot of fun playing dress up with her.


I wonder why I always have to wear the witch hat though?

We Were Planning on Getting New Carpet Anyway

Leslie is home all this week, he took some leave after his recent travels. Since he is home for more than 2 days, we decided to tackle painting the hallway. This afternoon, he dashed out to Home Depot to buy some supplies. We HAD to paint the ceiling because the previous owners had it painted this horrible putty color that exactly matched the horrible putty colored wallpaper. No biggie. We move some stuff, he gets the roller going and I watch on as the ceiling is transformed into a regular ceiling that will actually refract some light as opposed to sucking it all in. Things were going well, the no-splatter ceiling paint was, indeed, no splatter as advertised. Eventually, I had to abandon him to his own devices and start dinner (chili chicken tacos with re-fried beans and home made guacamole, if you were wondering), this was okay with him because usually The Hacksaw (a.k.a. Butter Bean) and Billy Bones follow ME, so that would leave him with no distractions to finish up.


You can tell where this is going right? I mean, a member of this family up on a ladder, that's always good for a story....


So apparently he was rolling along and finished up.....In the kitchen, I was fielding a million questions from Bean and hopping around Billy Bones who decided that a nap in the geographic center of the kitchen was in order, getting the diner ready. I was standing at the counter with a knife in my hand, pitting the avocados when I heard " fumble, thumble, crash bang thump, bangitty bang!!!" I just KNEW that Leslie had fallen off of the ladder. I dropped the knife and avocado, I turned- and in slippery socks on a freshly mopped kitchen floor, take off running to Leslie. When I took off running, so did the other two creatures in the room. According to the laws of physics or whatever, we all three end up in the door way together and I am forced to pull a Buffy-esque, turn flip, jump, hop and stumble to keep on my way towards my husband whom I am imagining with a broken femur and a paint brush stuck in his ribs. Somehow I manage not to kill myself or the kid or the cat. I turn the corner into the living room where I can, at last hear vibrant, sailor worthy cussing so I know then that Les is fine, however gravity and momentum have their way and I scuttle into the hall stairs and tip forward a bit to see Leslie in a Sea of White. A. SEA. OF. WHITE.


According to Leslie here's what happened on his end..... He was up on the tall ladder about 8 feet into the air, he brushed the last brush of paint on, turned a bit, checked his work. He was pleased with said work, no splatter, no spills, no second coat needed. Then he continued to turn to step down. However in his musings , he actually forgot that he was on a ladder (yes he CAN forget something like that), so he turns and BOOM, down he goes. He goes down with a full canister of paint in his hands. Somehow, he just ended up with a small scrape on his hand.


The carpet in the hallway though? That didn't come out unscathed.


We just laughed and cleaned it up the best we could. Hell, the carpet is awful too and we really were planning on getting new. Really.

Valentine's Day Approaches

If she has said it once, she's said it a thousand times. Valentine's Day is her favorite. With this in mind, the bar has been set high for Saturday. At the beginning of this week, she and i went around the house, taking down Chinese New Year and putting up some V-day stuff. The most exciting part for Bean was putting up the gel type window clings- she just loves those things. She managed to get one single tiny red heart on every window in the house. After that we hung up some crochet heart garlands that I made last year.
The final piece was getting something on the mantle. I wasn't in the mood to go out shopping for new stuff, so I decided to see what I had at home. What I had was the same white lights that I had up there at Christmas and some left over tooling (okay I know that is NOT how you spell that but That's how I say it. It's that pretty net stuff) form some tu-tu's. This leftover stuff just happened to be in pinks and reds, so I threw that up there, added a Mylar garland and ...viola. Evelyn really likes it and i must say, it has a nice glow in the evenings.
Much to Leslie's dismay (not really), the downstairs is a pink hearts, red hearts, girlie mantle extravaganza-trust me there could have been ALOT more pictures. Ev is happy as can be.
I am working on getting her a V-day goodie basket gathered up now. I hope I don't disappoint.

Ode to a Burger

What you see pictured above is only the greatest cheeseburger known to man. And yes, I am actually doing a blog entry about burgers- they ARE that good. See the cheese ? See that wonderfully perfect bun? See the onions? This burger is from a little joint called Skyway. Now when my family lived in Akron while I was young, we would LIVE for the days that Dad snuck us off to Skyway to indulge in these burgers. You see, the people at Skyway have a "secret ingredient" that makes those burgers slightly sweet and then you get them with pickles and white onions and cheese and mustard and they come on the rolls that they bake right there (also a secret?)- well it all turns out to be a melody in your mouth. Luckily for me, Skyway opened up a second store and it happens to be right off of one of the exits between here and my Mom's house. Since Leslie has become a hard charging convert and Ev loves their chicken- this is where we stop for lunch on the way to Grandma's house- it's pretty much a given. Oh and we eat there on the way home too. When we stop, I usually try to order extras to take to my Mom, Dad and sister because for one of us to have a Skyway and not all of us to have a Skyway- that's betrayal in it's purest form. My mouth is watering as I type this and I am seriously wondering if Les and Ev want to drive about 40 minutes for lunch today. The problem is that if Les sees the pictures above- we probably will. And Lord help me if my sister reads this entry while at work and she cant get a one....
Truly these are great burgers. American cuisine at it's finest.

The Butter Bean on the Balance Beam

Photo and video editing at www.OneTrueMedia.com

In other news....

Leslie got home from Oregon last night. It has taken until this afternoon but we are all back to normal again. Those of you that know me, will be very surprised/pleased/shocked to hear that I didn't raise my voice once, nor did I steal out of the house in the middle of the night to flatten any tires, I didn't throw and break anything, I didn't hit or punch Leslie, I didn't even try my hand at a bit of drink sabotage. Actually, Evelyn never even knew that there was a problem, outside of my one crying jag.
Oh my, am I growing up? Or was I just tired? Who knows.
Either way, The Rogue Bos'un isn't on my shit list anymore and I am no longer having those chest achy feelings.
We're good.

Monday is Gymnastics Day

Well, today was the second day of The Bean's foray into gymnastics. Her enthusiasm is holding, especially since she has her own little gymnastics leotard now. Today was also the Valentine's Day exchange with her class. She is coming along with the moves , though the cartwheels will take her awhile to perfect. I just sit and watch her and smile like a fool, she just looks so cute running around out there.

Why is it?

Why is it that you can be married for fifteen years and then one evening, your spouse says something that cuts so deep you forget to breathe for a bit? Why is it that after all of this time I suddenly feel like your garden variety military wife? Why is it that some days you work all evening in the house and hold on to your shortening temper with your child and then ....right at bedtime...the humidifier in her room tips over and you end up with a gallon of "cool tap water" on the floor? And then, that's it, you spend twenty minutes soaking it up and bawling your eyes out while your child stands by and gives you stickers and bits of chocolate that she has stashed in her room from God only knows when, just to make you feel better. Why is it that the person who really made you cry is in Oregon having popcorn and watching a movie (in a real honest to goodness theater) having a grand time while your chest aches and your four year old is trying to fix you?
Why is it that some days being a wife is quite possibly the hardest thing that I do?

Grandparents in Charge

When the Grandparents are in charge- unexpected things can happen. Take the picture above. There they are all decked out, outside building a snowman, having fun. There is a problem of sorts of you look closely though.
Yes those are huge shoes on Bean's feet and yes that is plastic taped to her legs,plastic taped with painters tape no less. Let's back up.....
Grandpa and Ev are together-alone. They decide that it's time to go out and play in the snow. It was time to put boots on. Now, Ev and Brev do have boots that LOOK the same but she has a size 5 and he has a size 9- you can definitely tell the difference when you look at them. However when Gpa put HER boots on her, Ev was convinced that they were Brevin's - despite the fact that they must have been fitting fine. So she convinced Gpa that they are wrong- so he hunts up old tennis shoes of Brevin's and some plastic and some tape and viola! Ev is outside ready.THEN it's time for Gma and Brev to go thru it all. Gma cold only find one pair of boots and she thought they were Brevin's , even though he was complaing the whole time they were getting them on and apparently? there was a struggle to get them on. So the boots somehow get on and they go outside where BRev continues to say that his feet hurt. Of course they did, they were about 4 sizes too small!!! So in the picture above one of the kids is standing tip toe and in pain in boots that are way too small and the other is flopping around in shoes that are too big with plastic on.
Looks like they managed to have fun anyway!

Overheard Conversation

Evelyn: okay Brev we are on a boat to Scotland but there are alligators that want to eat our faces off so we have to be careful!!!! Okay?
Brevin: otay beam we do dis

(the sounds of much rustling and preparations)
E: oh my! here we go! okay Brevin? Brevin! Brevin keep your weather eyes about you for alligators!
B: Beam, what weddur dies bout me?
E: ummm. just keep your eyes peeled for those alligators!
B: beam, what deep yur dies deelded meam?
E: (sigh) just. tell. me. IF. you. see. an. alligator.
B: otay beam!

For you land lubbers out there "weather eyes" is a Coast Guard term, it means to watch carefully.

Brevin Survives An Onslaught

The Bean and I are at Smokewood. This means that for portions of the day, Bean's attention is turned from me to other members of the family, that means that she has lots of others to TALK to.
I have recently mentioned that her talking has reached a new, unbelievable level. I thought that it couldn't get worse.
It did.
At times Leslie and I are convinced that she has gone without oxygen for several minutes- if not entire hours. I am not kidding here. She is no longer The Jackhammer- now we call her Hacksaw.
So, this morning, the adults were all out, except for myself and I was crocheting. This means that Brevin was left defenseless against The Hacksaw. For nearly an entire hour, he put up with non-stop commentary,suggestions and instructions! Eventually, he walked down the hall and frantically jiggled my Dad's bedroom doorknob to be let in. It was like a scene form a murder mystery- really. He approached the door, anxious and needing in, the door was locked, he jiggled frantically while glancing over his shoulder as Bean came toward him, chattering and instructing....the door opens....Brev slips in and ... SLAM!!! closes the door in Bean's face. Escape complete.
Bean did not miss a beat. She huffed a bit, and came to me where I had the pleasure of a 5 miinute re-cap of the activities that she had guided Brev through over the past hour. It didn't matter that I was 5 feet away during the hour of play. It didn't matter that I reminded her of this. She just HAD to tell me. I HAD to listen.
I couldn't help but laugh during that hour as I listened and watched. The two of them really are funny together. Brevin does have the perfect personality (sometimes) to deal with Bean. He just sort of does his thing while she talks and he throws out the occasional "yeah beam" and he sort of complies with her many requests. When he's had enough- he dissapears for awhile. Sometimes though, he does freak out and he starts picking at her and then before you know it, they are having Smackdown 2009 Version 12 or something.I wnated so badly to record her endless shatter today , so you would all kow that I am not making this up- however I had no video equipment with me.
Here is a written sampling:
brevin brevin oh my goodness i have an idea we can build a castle lets build a castle we have these popsickle sticks we can use ok ok grab some of these and help me move these out we dont want to spill any we want to move them over her because we want to make a surprise for del-del dont we brev/ we want to surprise your del-del right? (yes beam) oh okay lets do that oh wait these are not sticking oh my lets ummmm oh i have an idea (now she whispers--lets get some lip gloss)(they run into the bathroom and grab two huge tubes of fruity lip gloss and then start applying it to the tips of the sticks until I intervene) oh well that really wasn't going to work anyway ok let do this lets use pillows and blankets and make a seceret castle wouldn't you want to play in a secret castle? (yes beam) ok well, hum ok lets grab these pillows from the couch we need moere though could you do me a favor and get some pillows off of grandpa's bed? (yes bean- and he trundles off) but remeber to let grampa know that you are borrowing them because crime doesn't pay! okay brev BREVIN OKAY? (yes beam) (then he marches into Dad's room for a pillow raid and tries his best to explain what is going on) okay let's do this put that here, no here, NO HERE (otay beam) oh good now lets.......no brevin don't put your feet THERE (kicking sound ensues) agghhhh! brevin that's all my work you are messing up ! goshamightymastersartkit!!! what are you doing? stop. sigh. see what you have done? you have totally destroyed the secret castle now where are we going to sleep? (oh it's otay beam) no it is not (yes it is don't hab a hard dattak) chatter chatter chatter.......ESCAPE...... recap to mama and on and on and on
God help us every one....