The Uncles are Here

Day of Beauty

Evelyn and I had our doubles day of beauty yesterday. Michelle really made it special for Bean and I was so grateful because Ev had been talking (an talking and talking) and wanting the whole she-bang- that's exactly what she got too. I can not tell you how delighted Evelyn was to be treated like a big person and pampered with hair and nails. I am really glad that I did this and we will definitely do it more. The only thing that I didn't get was a complete "after" shot - my only excuse is that yesterday was hectic with a capital H and we hardly ate a bite of food so.....

Clad in Plaid

I have had this dress for three years, waiting for Bean to grow into it. I love the colors and the fact that an Alaskan friend got it for her, just adds to it I think. The three of us were dressed up just to go out to lunch together. Bean loved being all dressed up with a hat on, I swear that child even walks different when she is wearing what she deems a Princess Dress.







In other news..... We are awaiting the arrival of a troop of friends. We have 8 folks and a baby heading our way. This is the Second Annual Gamers Week In Paradise, it's when our friends show up to see how they fare against our local bug population while doing things like playing Guitar Hero and Intergallactika (this is a role playing game similar to D&D that Leslie has come up with on his own and these guys have been playing it for years). I have been looking forward to this for some time and I expect that Ryan will keep me laughing so much that I will either pee my pants several times or have an anuerism. So yeah, we will have almost a week of eating, laughing, playing games and laying around at the beach. High five for good times.

Enough

Tonight as I was running through the bedtime routine with Ev, we got to the part where she puts her book back on the shelf and then climbs into my lap for some rocking and then, all of a sudden there was a difference in the routine.... Evelyn walked over and turned the light off and said "let's be quiet together", then she climbed up into my lap and , get this, she was quiet. Really quiet. We just sat there rocking in her dim room, we could hear Leslie downstairs moving around and the occasional bit of the jazz that he was listen to would drift up to us, and it was nice. No, it was amazing, it was wonderful.
Evelyn is so hard to love on most of the time. She just has to be moving or talking. And, well, we have some left over issues from her start in life, if the truth is to be known. I have been working on getting her to slow down and pay attention when her family wants to love on her. I don't force her. As she got older though and there are no bottles and she doesn't need hardly any lap time and she can pretty much handle the first aid required for her own boo boo's independently, I was loosing precious time to keep her connected and focused on any sort of cuddle time. So, I have been working on this thing where I say "ok, we are going to cuddle now, is there anyhting you would like to say first? and then we cuddle and if she tries to start yapping, I just quietly say "hey kiddo we are snuggling now, we can talk in two minutes". At first this was terrible for her, she just wanted to squirm away and she wanted to start acting silly or talk her fool head off. (Don't get me wrong, talking is fine but, we do enough of that throughout the day that I feel that learning to be quiet together is important too). Slowly but surely she has started enjoying that time and each night gets a bit longer and now, instead of asking for a book right away, she first establishes that we will be rocking.
Tonight was a real first and I can not describe how good it felt to have her there, all swaddled in pink, smelling like sunblock and bug spray, warm and breathing on my lap, quiet, for like a half an hour. Moments like that are the moments that carry you through life. At one point I was a bit weepy and I whispered " I love being like this with you" and she said " I know, me too Mama, it gets me in my eyes" and then she wiped a tiny tear away.

Here I am. 34. I will never be rich. I will never be stunningly beautiful. I will never drive a fancy car. I will never be famous. I will never have a maid.
But.
Holding my daughter in my arms tonight, listening to her breathe and hearing my husband rattling around the house- I realized something.
I have enough.

Truth and Lies

Life with The Bean has been getting interesting. She has learned how to bend the truth a little (sometimes she just outright lies okay?) so our days are filled with tidbits of that kind of pure truth that kids manage to spew out from time to time. Often, these bits of truth are followed up by some sort of white lie, or the two happen in the same neighborhood. It is hard to nail her down for two reasons- 1) she has the world's greatest poker face- I mean she has no tells that I can detect- and 2) she will sometimes confess to something she did or didn't do, even with the most gentle questioning. (My sister has witnessed a scenario where Ev was being questioned about something and she was giving the true answer but on the second questioning from me, she changed her answer - to a self condemning response!)

Some truths:

"You are my Mama for all the times"

"I do not take care of bugs!!"

"I accidentally fell asleep"

"It's a hard trip to Grandma's"

"When I was alone in China..."

"Everyday is good for the beach"

Some non-truths:

"I don't know what's in my hair, I didn't put anything in it"

"I had a good nap. I sleeped alot"

"No, I didn't let Stella out"

"I don't know why Billy is wet"

"Mama, I won't get out of my bed when you shut my door"

We are trying to help her learn that telling lies is a very bad thing, it will take a bit of time. To me, it is so interesting to watch her stumble onto these very human foibles and to help her learn the right way to act. OK, plus, it is so funny to see her deny that she put anything in her hair when her entire head is soaked and sticky and slightly glittery.

One Little Girl

74 and Sunny

....means some time on the beach, complete with immersion fun, then off to a CG cook-out and let's not forget a boat ride! Evelyn had so much fun today- she ran about hollering and jumping into waves, giggling all the while. She was given as many cheddar cheese potato chips that she could stand and then she was allowed to drive a 47 foot motor life boat. Let's just say, when we got home, she had quite a long nap.
I now have my first sunburn of the year and the pain from this one will make me remember sunblock for about 3 months. At that point, I will get another sunburn and THAT lesson will take me into fall. Les just gives a big head smack/lecture and I swear to never do this again. I mean it didn't seem that hot....

We Made It!!

We finally made it to the park today. The Bean went up and down the slide nearly a hundred times. It was sunny and warm and wonderful. The house was still standing when we got home so that's good.

A Moment In Time

Here is a slice of a typical morning for me. The following events do not occur every day but, something similar does- you can bet your life on it.
This morning, I awake to the dulcet sounds of my daughters voice (incidentally she was complaining as she came down the stairs this morning, I think about a fly upstairs). She clambers onto my bed and begins to talk in a muffled tight lipped voice that is not, in fact herself, but her stuffed tiger-cat, Papa Juan. Apparently , Papa Juan has not been fed in days and days and this is something that needs immediate attention, or Armageddon will occur. Fine. A round of toast and jelly for the small human and invisible/imaginary tiger food for Papa Juan- check.
OK. Then we have to go check on the Neon (long story- a whole other post). -check.
Then I spend about an hour and a half cleaning the house and sweeping these damn dusty floors-check. After I clean the bathroom, Ev heads in there for her morning ablutions- maintaining a constant stream of conversation of course.
After that we sit sown at the table to work on a top secret art project for her grandma. This takes ABOUT 20 minutes.
When I get up and walk back through what was just my clean living room. I am shocked to discover (not really shocked- just dismayed because,let's face it, I should have known) that is is covered in loose cat litter, cat fur and in the middle of it all , lays my fat, diabetic, wheezing mess of a thirteen year old, deaf cat.
What happened you ask?
I'll tell you.
As Ev was in the bathroom, she got CRAY-ZEE with the agua- think giggling fountains of sink fun here. So, the floor (ok the entire room) was left in a puddle. I forget to have her dry things down- usually a standard operating procedure (ask my sister, the water play is constant with my child) and we go off for our art project. Meanwhile the aforementioned cat needs to pee because well, why not, Mom had just scooped the litter box out. Well, fat cat has to walk through all of that water to get to her litter box and her tootsies got a bit damp. Damp cat feet into clumping litter = big heep mess for Mama. Really.
Then the cat decides well, I am a bit sleepy after that, so she gets up on the freshly vacuumed furniture and turns around like what must have been a thousand times before she settles down.
So.
Time to clean again. Except this time around the naked three year old (I have NO idea how or why she ended up completely naked at this point and I may never know)- is bustling about offering advice and wanting to close the diaper wipes after I take one out- each time , even though it was a hundred wipe job to get the litter out of the cat's feet. If you picture the kid naked, with hand on hip, alternately fussing and asking "why?" you will just about have it. Oh and don't forget to add the fat cat, grasping and clawing at anything - trembling with the effort and wheezing louder than ever due to the exertion, letting out the occasional yowl (complete with the kid echoing each yowl). I will not even try to describe my physical or mental state during this time, just let your imagination run wild.
Complete mental and social breakdown of family structure-check.

ah hell, the kid and I are going to the park!
right after I dress The Bean
Oh and I was just informed that Papa Juan needs to go too.
And now she's hungry again.
And where is Billy Bones anyway?
Oh and the bathroom still needs wiped down.

Follicular Progress

This is what happens when you try to take a simple picture of a three year old. You get like 50 out-takes and the sense that the featured child is enjoying making you work for what should have been a simple picture.
Her hair is finally getting long(-er -ish) ! HA! It finally gets in her eyes a bit and I have been able to get some barrettes in her bangs, (I think she looks adorable with her forehead accentuated thank you very much), and I love every minute of it. Of course, only one will never do in her eyes, so I usually have to try and scrape up enough hair for two- it's a start.
We are going for a doubles beauty day next week. She has been dying to get into the chair at the Salon and have her hair cut. I have had to trim a minuscule amount off of her bangs before, at home, but this will be her first official cut. (Don't freak Mom, the girl that does my hair knows that we are basically pretending and that only the slightest bit of tips will come off of her hair - at the bangs and at the back of her neck.) So she will get a shampoo, a "cut" and then we are getting our nails done together and then we are going out to lunch- we are both looking forward to it. When I made the appointment today, Evelyn danced all around and squealed and I had to tell her about 55 times when we were going, I have to say, I felt the same way.

My Beautiful Girl

This is my girl. She is three going on thirty sometimes. She is smart, bright, funny, obstinate, single minded and sweet. She has taken me to emotional places that I never thought I would go to- both in love and in frustration. She is an absolute miracle. There is something so special about this little person, she can light up a room with one shy, half smile.
Leslie and I were talking last night about the love we have for her as parents. I was amazed at things that he was saying- not because he felt those things but because he was able to vocalize it in such a way. It was interesting for me to hear how the attachment has been a bit different for him than it was for me. For him, he loved her right away and wanted to keep her safe and would have killed had anyone tried to take her from us, but he says that the love he feels for her now is so much more, so much deeper , that there is just so much more emotion involved for him- so it was an evolution of things for him. For me, it was BAM! - in that moment when my arms first took the weight of that slight body in my arms- everything that I was ever going to feel for her burst into my chest and into my mind and I have not been the same. Though, I didn't realize it at the time. At the time, I thought that I felt the same way that Les speaks of, sort of protective and wary and needing to bond. Now, I know that it was all there and it has taken time for my mind and heart to be able to process portions of that love in a cognitive way, and I know that there is more to come.
Sometimes when I pick her up now, and I feel how long she is and how much heavier she is, when my hands touch that warm brown skin- I am lost. Lost in the thoughts of her- my heart feels as if it will melt or bust- I just get flooded with the thoughts of who she was, who she is now and who she will be one day -and I know I will never again see such luck in my life. I am lucky to be able to share her days with her and to be her guide in life. I am lucky that in all of the world, she looks at MY face and says "mama". I am lucky that my house is filled with her chatter and her giggles and the sound of her feet tramping about so imperiously.
All of our days are not halcyon for sure. She can drive me right up the wall with bug fears, gum worries and her constant need to fuss, fuss, fuss. She is three- an irrational beast at best- so we do have our days. She truly is the single most stubborn person that I have ever met and I am constantly making adjustments for that and some days I just want to holler at the top of my voice because I am tired of seeing that set expression of hers that Leslie and I call, Turning to Stone. Then, in a moment, she will soften and smile and I am a goner and I have no idea why I was so frustrated and we move on to the next thing on our list.
Today, so far, we have snuggled in bed, had chocolate for breakfast, bacon sandwiches with a tea party mid-morning, we have chased Billy Bones in order to remove a tick from his head, we have loved and petted Stella, we have discussed the weather and if her Papa will be able to stay out of the rain today. Later, we will sit and watch a silly movie while we paint our nails, we will have lunch, we will take a walk in the soft rain (hopefully it will stay at a soft rain), and, knowing Ev, we will talk all the while. There will be blessed naps, un-holy tears, I am sure, and a few spats.
I dare anyone on the planet to have such a Sunday as this.

Now I Remember...

Yeah. Now I remember why we don't do alot of sitting in the yard while the kid runs and plays. She is a nightmare. Any minuscule bug - either flying or crawling- sends her into fits of high pitched screaming accompanied by a seizure like dance that is supposed to knock the bugs off or something. Really. It can be supremely annoying. We are not the type of parents that molly-coddle or endorse this sort of behavior, it's just what she does. She has been this way from the first day that we met her and it continues- just at higher pitches and more intricate dancing. On one level it is really and truly funny and then on another level, you just want to go "Stop acting like a jerk!" So after like 20 minutes of play interspersed with Bug Avoidance Fit Throwing- I give up and we come in. Because it is either that or, I go to jail for a public display of "knocking the kid upside her head".
In all fairness, our yard is chock full of mosquitoes (yes, already) and in two minutes she had three mosquito bites- but you would think that after three years of it, she would stop screaming and just slap the damn things away already. Yes there was bug spray and yes I start out by giving calm, thoughtful advice and for the first 19 and a half minutes she has a completely cool Mom about this whole thing and then I get really irritated at having the only kid in the neighborhood that can not get over the fact that there are bugs outside and they crawl and they go about their buggy business and it's no big deal- so we come in. Really. I would rather be in the cool house with no screaming kid than outside wondering if duct tape would qualify as child abuse.
We just can't spend all day every day down at the marinas- ya know?

A Beautiful Day in a Beautiful Place

It is gorgeous here in Coastal Carolina today! Evelyn and I struck out from the house to see what we could see, it was too beautiful to stay in the yard, and I really didn't want another day at the same dull little playground, so we just took off for a walk down by all of the marina's. The sun was shining and though, I had to hear about how hot it was, we had a great time. We saw pelicans, fish, boats, neighbors, we saw some pretty fuscia flowers, we ate fresh, steamed shrimp down by the water side. We chatted and chatted and really enjoyed each other's company. We are back home now with full tummies and shoulders warmed by the sun. Evelyn is tucked up in her bed, just for quiet time you understand, as she felt a nap was not really her thing today (I chuckle as I write that because she was actually asleep before I hit the bottom of the stairs), Billy Bones is outside hunting and I am going back out to sit and read a good book in the sun. Here are some pictures from our walk, wish that you could have been here....

Growth

Understanding Economics

When you have a three year old, you can never be quite sure how they will digest the things that you are trying to explain to them. In this house, The Bean has broken down all things economic, from the economic world of our home right up to global economics, into... wait for it.....bubble gum. Yes folks the financial world turns according to who wants and needs bubble gum and who has the rights to the bubble gum.
Leslie was having to explain to Evelyn WHY he had to go to work and the conversation sounded something like this:
B: Papa, why do you just have to go to work all of the time?
L: Well, Ev, when I go to work, they give me money for being there. That's the money that we use for the things we need and want, like our house, food, the cars, clothes, toys...
B: and Bubblegum!
L: (chuckling) and bubblegum, yeah.

I though that this was a fluke, a one time thing but since then, there have been several conversations about the global acquisition of bubblegum and how that relates to money. I wish that I could remember them all because they are all funny! But, seriously, when your three year old starts wondering if the kids in Africa have bubblegum how do you break the news that they barely have water and food? (The answer is that you don't, you tell her that yes, even in Africa, the kids have bubblegum too.) Just yesterday I was informed that Bean needed a job to go to every day because she was running low on bubblegum (I checked, she has two nearly full packs and then an additional 8 pieces of Fruit Stripes left from Easter- so I am not sure how much bubblegum is needed to feel financially secure, but at this point, it's definitely more than those two packs) and needed "the cash" to get some more, then she asked if going to school would count for getting cash!
She has been obsessed with gum for awhile (thanks Dad) and this is perfect for illustrating how much she thinks about gum and asks for gum and worries about the supply.

She needs a hobby.

Really.

Baking with a Diva

I called The Bean in for some baking and she showed up like this! Her purple shades must have been calling to her because she had to fish them out of the summer drawer and clean them off. She wore them the entire time that we were baking, she was so matter of fact about it that I just cracked up.

Savoring Our Last Moments

This is our last Spring, into Summer here in Carolina and I have been hoping for a quick warm up so that we could really get out and enjoy ourselves before we pull out but,as my Grandma says , if wishes were horses....We have decided to get out anyway. Les and Bean have been very good about that while I was gone and I came home to join them (after catching up on my sleep that is). So this is what beach frolicking looks like in 50 degree weather with strong coastal winds blowing. It is impossible to keep Bean's little legs and feet out of the water, so we don't even try really.


The Two Musketeers

Two Feet Off The Ground

Tiny Footprints

Wipeout!

Somersault(I really have no idea how to spell that!)

Dual Cartwheels

Sunset

Sunset with Pelican and Gulls

A Few Family Photos

Survival

First off, let me say that my Dad has managed to survive another surgery/hospital stay. Hopefully this will be the last of his surgeries for the same thing! I was very impressed with his Surgeon (I have never felt that the recurrence of this issue was the fault of the surgeon), however generally appalled at the state of nursing care in that modern "top of the line" facility. Now, having just had two very dismal experiences in the past couple of years, to my parents, the less than mediocre care that Dad received was rave worthy and I didn't stir the pot any. Let me just say though that I used to think that I only ranked as a fair to middlin' nurse but maybe I need to re-think that.
Secondly, Leslie and The Bean were pretty good together! I am extremely grateful for Leslie's ability to step in and take over and keep the house and the kid on track while I am away. They ate, they played, they cleaned, they bathed.... we all missed each other but it was manageable. Bean and I did have a few teary phone calls and I always had to be very clear on what I was doing and where I was and where the car was parked(?!!!) but she managed. Now that I have been back, she tells me at least 4 times a day that she missed me when I was away and then she emphatically reminds me that I am her Mama.
Yes kid, I am indeed, your Mama, and happy to be.

Another Week Off?????

Well, yes. I am having another week off. I am going back up to Ohio. By. Myself.
My Dad is slated for a round of medical torture (more commonly known as surgery), and I am going up to be with him and my Mom for a few days.

What about Evelyn? What about Leslie? What about all of those dinners that will need to be cooked? What about all of that cat hair? What about Stella's daily insulin? What about Story Hour and Gymnastics? What about.....? (I can just hear you asking)

Leslie will have a crack at being me for a week, that's what. He took a couple of days off from work this week and he and Ev are staying here at the hacienda without me. Brave man. Good man. I am sure that they will be alright and manage to have a super time without me. I know that he will manage to get it all taken care of so I am not really worried about them at all.....yet, I am a bit worried, you know? The only time that I have ever been away from Evelyn is the two days when I went and had my surgery, so this is big time stuff for us.

When I told her about this, she sat for a minute and thought. She started worrying and wringing her hands. She finally said " Well, I know Grumpaw needs help but why can't Grandma take care of it?" She works and has to work, I said. "What about Lissa then? She can do it." No kiddo, Lissa works and goes to school and takes care of Brevin, I said. She then thought for a bit more and announced "I am here to tell you that GG doesn't work, she doesn't go to school, she can do it and you can stay home with The Bean" !! HA! (GG is my Grandma and Bean's Great Grandma, so you know not in the prime work force years of her life).

Bean is used to the idea now and she is looking at this as some type of strange experiment I am sure of it. She keeps asking all of these questions to see if Les is going to do things the exact way that I do and our answers always leave her a bit skeptical. I have made a calendar for her to cross the days that I am gone, off- so she will see when I will get home. I have readied the kid and the house as much as I can to make things easier for Leslie.

They will be fine.

Yeah, they'll be okay.

Right?

A Great Papa

Les came in from work last night and we talked for a few minutes. Then he called Bean to him and they trotted off for some fun together. He took her into our bedroom and they played "Toss The Bean" and various other games that make these full on girly giggles and big man hoots of laughter fill the house. After awhile of this, he came through the house and I said, "you know Les, she really needed that". His reply? "Well, Michal I needed it too". There is the difference between a good Papa and a great Papa. A great Papa NEEDS and searches out time with his kids. We are lucky to have him, The Bean and I.

Licking the Spoon