The latest from China... Evelyn has her 1st loose tooth! She seems to be very proud! She also informed us that shes sick of being in the hotel room and shes not looking forward to 7 more days in them.
Liam is doing very good! They say he is a trip! He's a climber, stubborn, lovable, and likes things his own way. He already runs to his mama for loves and cuddles!! We could hear him in the background just gibbering away!
Today is travel day. They have departed for Guangzhou and will be there until Aug. 5. I believe this is where they will finish up all the American paperwork.
Meanwhile... here in Ohio.. Brevin has been getting welcome home packages ready for the kids, mom & I are planning a menu so they can have some good home cooked food ready for them when they get home. And my friend is working on the welcome home signs, which look awesome btw! Love her for that! Thanks Carolyn!
Friday, July 30, 2010
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Liam Day!
Ok so I'm a day behind but the good news is... they got Liam!! Evelyn called yesterday morning, 12:42 am our time, and said "Hello. We got Liam. I'm taller than him, he only comes up to my shoulders!" HA then she passed the phone over to Kel. I'll leave all the details for sis to fill u in on, but they said that he's precious, seems kinda quite, won't let his big sister out of his sight, and they are all doing great! Oh, and he's a chubby little guy! Cute! I can't wait to get my hands on him! This aunt of his is gonna kiss his face off! After I squeeze the stuffing outta Bean ofcourse. I miss them already..can't wait for them to get home.
Today is official paperwork day for them....ughh right? And the next 2 days are free days. We're really hoping they call and check in tonight, it's torture not hearing from them everyday.
Today is official paperwork day for them....ughh right? And the next 2 days are free days. We're really hoping they call and check in tonight, it's torture not hearing from them everyday.
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Phone call home
Well the Dillons called home to check in Thursday. They made it to China safe and sound. I didn't get a chance to talk to them, but mom said they sounded tired and too far away from home. Apparently Evelyn loves China very much and is soo busy taking in her surroundings that shes actually speechless! Evelyn, speechless?!?! She must really be extremely moved and mesmerized. I'm excited to get Evs version of everything when she gets home.
Yesterday they had planned to see Tiananmen Square, and today is the day they were going to visit the Great Wall and the Ming Tombs! Cannot wait for pics and videos of this! What a special treat to get to witness such beauty! I'm so happy that they get to experience this.. and even more thrilled that Evelyn gets to see such a huge piece of Chinese history.
Just 2 days until my sister gets to hold her son in her arms. I wonder how shes holding up...
Yesterday they had planned to see Tiananmen Square, and today is the day they were going to visit the Great Wall and the Ming Tombs! Cannot wait for pics and videos of this! What a special treat to get to witness such beauty! I'm so happy that they get to experience this.. and even more thrilled that Evelyn gets to see such a huge piece of Chinese history.
Just 2 days until my sister gets to hold her son in her arms. I wonder how shes holding up...
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Update From the Sister..
Ok.. So I told my sister that I would try to post updates on the blog to keep everyone informed on the details of their trip to China. I will do my best to step into my sisters shoes, but I'm warning you all now... I am not as talkative, imaginative, or animated as my sister. God love her. So, the story telling details & updates from me will not be as entertaining, but I'm just filling in people! I'm more like a 'get to the point kinda girl'. So here we go...
My son and I went to their house last night to spend the night and drive them to the airport this morning. I had the pleasure of witnessing some last minute packing 'discussions' (oh my.. did she really need 2 downy spray dewrinklers and 2 frebreze air fresheners?), some major concerns and good-byes to Billy Bones, and ofcourse some passing off of little cut up papers and pink tickets from Evelyn to Brevin. God help him to keep track of them because Evelyn will know if even ONE tiny piece is missing. Oh well, its his butt on the line, not mine. And at one point, after my sister made 4 complete circles around her kitchen and did absolutely nothing, I finally had to say... "Sis..whats goin on? What r u trying to do?" Then she just changed directions. I'm still not sure what she was doing. All I know is that she was a nervous wreck, but she was trying her best to keep her shit together. (which btw would have fooled anyone else but her sister) We settled down kinda early, seeing how they had to be up by 5 am. But rumor has it the only people that actually got any sleep were the kids.
We left early enough this morning to stop and get breakfast. It was a mixture of emotions. Happy, because we were together & I was able to see them off with love. Sad, because we were going to be apart for two weeks. Nervous, because its going to be a very long hard trip. Happy because Liam finally gets to come home. Sad, because its going to be hard on him. Nervous, because they are soo far away. And those are just my feelings. I cant speak for them and I wouldn't even begin to try.
On to the details.. their 1st flight left @ 10am, then they had a layover. Their 2nd flight left @ 12:20 and they will arrive in Beijing @ 2:40 am our time. 2:40 pm China time. They're going to try to stay awake and keep busy until evening, so they're able to adjust to China time.
My son and I went to their house last night to spend the night and drive them to the airport this morning. I had the pleasure of witnessing some last minute packing 'discussions' (oh my.. did she really need 2 downy spray dewrinklers and 2 frebreze air fresheners?), some major concerns and good-byes to Billy Bones, and ofcourse some passing off of little cut up papers and pink tickets from Evelyn to Brevin. God help him to keep track of them because Evelyn will know if even ONE tiny piece is missing. Oh well, its his butt on the line, not mine. And at one point, after my sister made 4 complete circles around her kitchen and did absolutely nothing, I finally had to say... "Sis..whats goin on? What r u trying to do?" Then she just changed directions. I'm still not sure what she was doing. All I know is that she was a nervous wreck, but she was trying her best to keep her shit together. (which btw would have fooled anyone else but her sister) We settled down kinda early, seeing how they had to be up by 5 am. But rumor has it the only people that actually got any sleep were the kids.
We left early enough this morning to stop and get breakfast. It was a mixture of emotions. Happy, because we were together & I was able to see them off with love. Sad, because we were going to be apart for two weeks. Nervous, because its going to be a very long hard trip. Happy because Liam finally gets to come home. Sad, because its going to be hard on him. Nervous, because they are soo far away. And those are just my feelings. I cant speak for them and I wouldn't even begin to try.
On to the details.. their 1st flight left @ 10am, then they had a layover. Their 2nd flight left @ 12:20 and they will arrive in Beijing @ 2:40 am our time. 2:40 pm China time. They're going to try to stay awake and keep busy until evening, so they're able to adjust to China time.
Something to read while we're away......
http://chinaadoptiontalk.blogspot.com/2010/07/amy-eldridge-of-lwb-speaks.htm be sure to scroll down and read some further comments by Amy Eldridge in this one.
http://nohandscurrentinfo.blogspot.com/2010/07/my-baby-tells-her-story.html this is a video and it is incredible, you just have to watch it (Sister, you already did )
http://keirajoy07.blogspot.com/2010/02/beginning.html
http://keirajoy07.blogspot.com/2010/03/middle.html
http://keirajoy07.blogspot.com/2010/03/ending-and-beginning.html
http://keirajoy07.blogspot.com/2010/03/her-special-need.html
http://tobuildafamily.blogspot.com/2010/06/new-but-familiar.html
http://somebodyneedsanap.wordpress.com/2010/06/26/thinking-back-to-may-31st/
http://somebodyneedsanap.wordpress.com/2010/06/30/reflections-on-an-emotional-day/
http://shirlee-mccoy.blogspot.com/2010/06/this-is-what-i-saw.html just save me some time here and read anything and everything this woman writes
http://nohandscurrentinfo.blogspot.com/2010/07/my-baby-tells-her-story.html this is a video and it is incredible, you just have to watch it (Sister, you already did )
http://keirajoy07.blogspot.com/2010/02/beginning.html
http://keirajoy07.blogspot.com/2010/03/middle.html
http://keirajoy07.blogspot.com/2010/03/ending-and-beginning.html
http://keirajoy07.blogspot.com/2010/03/her-special-need.html
http://tobuildafamily.blogspot.com/2010/06/new-but-familiar.html
http://somebodyneedsanap.wordpress.com/2010/06/26/thinking-back-to-may-31st/
http://somebodyneedsanap.wordpress.com/2010/06/30/reflections-on-an-emotional-day/
http://shirlee-mccoy.blogspot.com/2010/06/this-is-what-i-saw.html just save me some time here and read anything and everything this woman writes
Monday, July 19, 2010
The Bike War of 2010
Last summer Ev learned how to ride her bike, training wheels off and all. There was a small crash late in the season last year and that resulted in a very minor skinned knee.
Fast forward to this summer, with us being so busy and Ev obviously harboring some reluctance in her heart- no bike riding. Until I said something about it and we all said "Oh yeah we should do that"
Two days ago, in the evening, Ev asked Les to help her practice her bike, he agreed and they went out to do just that. And that's where things went sour.
Despite the calm attitude of her Papa and many reassuring words, Ev just did that Ev thing and turned into a complete stinker. She whined, she moaned, she made declarations about hatred (the bike), incompetence (her parents), she flat out refused to out her feet on the pedals, she screamed. Les ended the session.
Then I got wind of the entire story and I intervened. And then things went beyond sour.
I had the gall to attempt to question Her Royal Highness and well, she hates that. The information that I gleaned from this unwanted interview was that she :
1) hated her bike
2) hated riding her bike
3) was uncertain as to why we would purchase such a thing for her
4) that she was NEVER going to ride it again
5) the bike was stupid
Well, I thought to myself, we shall see if you want this bike Miss Mouthy Mouth Stubborn Face.
I had her put her shoes on and go to the garage. I had her walk her bike to the curb and then I told her that if she hated it so much and it was so awful that she could leave it there for the trash.
Cue the drama.
Red faced, snotting, tight shouldered drama.
Imagine the tragedy of this moment and you will just laugh. I know! I am mean, but really it was so heartbreakingly tragic it was funny (though I never laughed). I mean the only person in the world who didn't know I was bluffing was The Bike Hater.
Picture this: Tiny diminutive girl in a silk night gown, standing on the curb, screaming. SCREAMING " BUT I WANT IT BUT I WANT IT BUT I WANT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tears rolling, face beet red, death grip on the bike, scowling face, just shaking with rage at the complete unfairness of what was happening.
I said , "ok then show me you want it, ride it".
She straddled that bike and she moved it, and she whined and moaned and whimpered and complained. It was the worst that I have ever seen her behave. She was a force of nature- whiney, petulant, hateful nature.
Back to the curb with the bike.
Mama leaves to come in house and see what Screaming Bike hater will do now.
It seems that she will stand, shoulders hunched, pink bike helmet askew on her head, staring angrily at the house and emanating pure rage. Then it thundered. I swear, for a moment, I though she called that thunder to her aid. I know it's weird, but we will always treasure that moment of her braving the forces of nature to protect what is hers- that's Ev. That's how strong she is. This is what I am up against every single day. Not in a bad way, just Strength, just this immovable little rock of a person. My God how I love her!
Kid pried away and brought inside.
Kid up to her room where she stood in her bed and watched her bike laying on the curb from her window and screamed her displeasure out to the world.
I thought someone would call the cops.
After a terrible amount of time (no longer than 5 minutes I swear). She was permitted to go and get her bike and bring it to the garage. She told us, all on her own accord, that she would practice every day.
And for two days she has geared up and went out and muttered and complained and practiced. It was the take off that was the issue, and today she got it.
I am sitting here now listening to the happy "ting!" of her bike bell and proclamations of "I am a bike rider from way back!" I can hear her saying, nay shouting with joy, "I am riding in the grass now!"" I am going all of the way down the driveway now!". It seems the accomplishments are stacking up at an exponential rate.
Now....
Before you go away thinking we are evil and cruel let me explain some things.
Ev had been bordering on emotional breakdown for days, what with the new brother coming and the harried parents swirling in chaos around her. Ev had partially convinced herself that she did not want her bike, but I knew that she did and I knew I had to prove that to her. I also know that she is 6 and you can not reason with words sometimes. I knew that she had this perfect storm of life changes, bike frustrations and independence with a bit of those old trust issues rearing their heads. I know that sometimes I want and desperately need an excuse to completely and utterly loose my grip and get down and dirty with the fit throwing. So I planned it all. Yes I did. I knew that she would get that mad and I knew she needed it. We never shouted at her, we never lost our cool, we were actually as kind as we could have been, firm and unyielding but kind.
So this war is at an end. My heart is light as I hear her out there shouting out her bike comings and goings. I can hear her pride, her joy and it is wonderful. Because it was more than the bike. It was all of it and she needed a release and she got that and some new mad biking skills at the same time.
I can not wait to hear her version of this when she is grown.
oh! And the cops never came.
Fast forward to this summer, with us being so busy and Ev obviously harboring some reluctance in her heart- no bike riding. Until I said something about it and we all said "Oh yeah we should do that"
Two days ago, in the evening, Ev asked Les to help her practice her bike, he agreed and they went out to do just that. And that's where things went sour.
Despite the calm attitude of her Papa and many reassuring words, Ev just did that Ev thing and turned into a complete stinker. She whined, she moaned, she made declarations about hatred (the bike), incompetence (her parents), she flat out refused to out her feet on the pedals, she screamed. Les ended the session.
Then I got wind of the entire story and I intervened. And then things went beyond sour.
I had the gall to attempt to question Her Royal Highness and well, she hates that. The information that I gleaned from this unwanted interview was that she :
1) hated her bike
2) hated riding her bike
3) was uncertain as to why we would purchase such a thing for her
4) that she was NEVER going to ride it again
5) the bike was stupid
Well, I thought to myself, we shall see if you want this bike Miss Mouthy Mouth Stubborn Face.
I had her put her shoes on and go to the garage. I had her walk her bike to the curb and then I told her that if she hated it so much and it was so awful that she could leave it there for the trash.
Cue the drama.
Red faced, snotting, tight shouldered drama.
Imagine the tragedy of this moment and you will just laugh. I know! I am mean, but really it was so heartbreakingly tragic it was funny (though I never laughed). I mean the only person in the world who didn't know I was bluffing was The Bike Hater.
Picture this: Tiny diminutive girl in a silk night gown, standing on the curb, screaming. SCREAMING " BUT I WANT IT BUT I WANT IT BUT I WANT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tears rolling, face beet red, death grip on the bike, scowling face, just shaking with rage at the complete unfairness of what was happening.
I said , "ok then show me you want it, ride it".
She straddled that bike and she moved it, and she whined and moaned and whimpered and complained. It was the worst that I have ever seen her behave. She was a force of nature- whiney, petulant, hateful nature.
Back to the curb with the bike.
Mama leaves to come in house and see what Screaming Bike hater will do now.
It seems that she will stand, shoulders hunched, pink bike helmet askew on her head, staring angrily at the house and emanating pure rage. Then it thundered. I swear, for a moment, I though she called that thunder to her aid. I know it's weird, but we will always treasure that moment of her braving the forces of nature to protect what is hers- that's Ev. That's how strong she is. This is what I am up against every single day. Not in a bad way, just Strength, just this immovable little rock of a person. My God how I love her!
Kid pried away and brought inside.
Kid up to her room where she stood in her bed and watched her bike laying on the curb from her window and screamed her displeasure out to the world.
I thought someone would call the cops.
After a terrible amount of time (no longer than 5 minutes I swear). She was permitted to go and get her bike and bring it to the garage. She told us, all on her own accord, that she would practice every day.
And for two days she has geared up and went out and muttered and complained and practiced. It was the take off that was the issue, and today she got it.
I am sitting here now listening to the happy "ting!" of her bike bell and proclamations of "I am a bike rider from way back!" I can hear her saying, nay shouting with joy, "I am riding in the grass now!"" I am going all of the way down the driveway now!". It seems the accomplishments are stacking up at an exponential rate.
Now....
Before you go away thinking we are evil and cruel let me explain some things.
Ev had been bordering on emotional breakdown for days, what with the new brother coming and the harried parents swirling in chaos around her. Ev had partially convinced herself that she did not want her bike, but I knew that she did and I knew I had to prove that to her. I also know that she is 6 and you can not reason with words sometimes. I knew that she had this perfect storm of life changes, bike frustrations and independence with a bit of those old trust issues rearing their heads. I know that sometimes I want and desperately need an excuse to completely and utterly loose my grip and get down and dirty with the fit throwing. So I planned it all. Yes I did. I knew that she would get that mad and I knew she needed it. We never shouted at her, we never lost our cool, we were actually as kind as we could have been, firm and unyielding but kind.
So this war is at an end. My heart is light as I hear her out there shouting out her bike comings and goings. I can hear her pride, her joy and it is wonderful. Because it was more than the bike. It was all of it and she needed a release and she got that and some new mad biking skills at the same time.
I can not wait to hear her version of this when she is grown.
oh! And the cops never came.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
T-minus 3
Three days until we leave.
Nine days until we meet our son and brother.
That slow burn of excitement that I was talking about has turned into a million butterflies and shaky hands and a complete inability to process reality. In other words, this waiting Mama has turned on: FULL ON EXCITEMENT.
I can not believe that I am lucky enough in this life to get to call these two beautiful children my own.
In packing news....kids are the only ones packed and that is strictly clothing and diapers. Tomorrow is the day that Les and I are going to pack the rest of thecrap much needed items and sundries (Lord help us).
Les does truly have me stoked about carry on's only and I am really and truly trying to make it. If we don't it will be because of the meds- I just know it. Because listen, I am only taking one pair of shoes and THAT is really not Michal-like at all. At all!
In Evelyn news....she is in a bit of a rocky place. She is see-sawing between this inclusive, happy, excited girl and a girl that is stubborn, grumpy, un-trusting and secluded. Changes between the two are fast and un-scheduled. We are trying desperately to meet her where she is and offer her lots of patience and understanding. Sometimes we get it right and sometimes we don't. I can hear her feet upstairs now and she is runnig back and forth and there is the omnipresent rustling of paper, this is good it means that with the next encounter I can expect Happy Girl, I wonder how long that will last?
I have to confess that I will be unable to Blog or post pictures from China. I know! I LIVE on the posts that come from China, I NEED them. So, I feel pretty rotten about being one of the "update you all when we get back home" set but it can not be helped. My sister is going to try and post some updates while we are away but I feel certain that we won't be able to get pictures sent home. We have no lap top and I am trying to de-stress the trip as much as humanly possible and that means cutting out the stress of finding computer access and the like. Sorry.
OK. We have some finishing touches on Liam's room and I have to keep chiseling away at the laundry!
Nine days until we meet our son and brother.
That slow burn of excitement that I was talking about has turned into a million butterflies and shaky hands and a complete inability to process reality. In other words, this waiting Mama has turned on: FULL ON EXCITEMENT.
I can not believe that I am lucky enough in this life to get to call these two beautiful children my own.
In packing news....kids are the only ones packed and that is strictly clothing and diapers. Tomorrow is the day that Les and I are going to pack the rest of the
Les does truly have me stoked about carry on's only and I am really and truly trying to make it. If we don't it will be because of the meds- I just know it. Because listen, I am only taking one pair of shoes and THAT is really not Michal-like at all. At all!
In Evelyn news....she is in a bit of a rocky place. She is see-sawing between this inclusive, happy, excited girl and a girl that is stubborn, grumpy, un-trusting and secluded. Changes between the two are fast and un-scheduled. We are trying desperately to meet her where she is and offer her lots of patience and understanding. Sometimes we get it right and sometimes we don't. I can hear her feet upstairs now and she is runnig back and forth and there is the omnipresent rustling of paper, this is good it means that with the next encounter I can expect Happy Girl, I wonder how long that will last?
I have to confess that I will be unable to Blog or post pictures from China. I know! I LIVE on the posts that come from China, I NEED them. So, I feel pretty rotten about being one of the "update you all when we get back home" set but it can not be helped. My sister is going to try and post some updates while we are away but I feel certain that we won't be able to get pictures sent home. We have no lap top and I am trying to de-stress the trip as much as humanly possible and that means cutting out the stress of finding computer access and the like. Sorry.
OK. We have some finishing touches on Liam's room and I have to keep chiseling away at the laundry!
Thursday, July 15, 2010
A Few Words on Excitement
"Aren't you so exited?"
"Isn't it so exciting?"
"Oh! How exciting!"
These are words that I am hearing over and over again right now.
And I am.
Excited I mean.
BUT.....
I am also afraid and nervous.
Not for me. (Okay a little for me)
But for him.
I have said it before and I will say it again: To him we will be strangers, complete with weird faces and strange smells. To him we are just another shake up.
I know that time will march on and we will all come out on the other side of this thing loving and trusting and with a whole new family.
But the getting there? That might be rough.
Then again it might not.
The thing is, I have no idea how he will be.
I do know though that even if he is Wonder Baby - mellow and loving and easy to adjust, we are still going to have that trip. Another one of those two weeks in a strange land kind of experiences.
Even if he never bats an eye and Ev is all goodness and light. I will still be adding another child to this equation.
In one glorious moment they will hand me the cutest, chubby cheeked little 21 month old boy, and they will walk away.
And we will be thousands of miles away from home and have days upon days until we can even begin to turn our faces towards home. So that in and of itself is daunting and worrisome.
I could write a book on what he will be going through. Our little Liam. My bright son.
So.
Excitement.
Yes it is there, a long slow burn of excitement.
I am doing all of the things that make my heart light with anticipation.
The highchair, the crib, the endless fondling of clothes and picking out the perfect toy cars to take. I am cleaning and making lists and I am gathering unto me the tools that I will need to meet his needs.
This morning I thought, in a sleepy haze, "Six days. Only six days until I can get on that plane". And it was joy. Pure joy.
Not like with Ev though, where I was just eaten alive with feelings of joy and excitement for myself.
It is a quiet joy, thoughtful and cautious, mixed in tightly with worries for him and his spirit.
And I have come to realize that it's ok. That no matter what he is wanted and loved and he will be cherished and spoiled and have cookies, and Grandparents who are proud to know him, and an
Aunt who is fierce in her love, a cousin who shouts, no, SCREAMS with joy when he hears that Liam is coming, a sister who will be the best big sister a boy could ever know, and there will be healing both physical and spiritual... oh and a Papa, a sweet, kind lovely bear of man to teach him the ways of life.....
And so if I feel fear and anxiety mixed with love, anticipation and joy and that long slow burn of excitement, it just means I have done this before. It means that I am still a bit shell shocked form our first weeks home with Ev. It means that I am placing Liam over my own feelings, and that's not all bad is it?
Because even though the expenses are over the moon and alot more than we counted on. Even though it will be hard, even knowing what I know about what is to come- you would have to literally take my life and breath from my body to stop me from going to him.
"Isn't it so exciting?"
"Oh! How exciting!"
These are words that I am hearing over and over again right now.
And I am.
Excited I mean.
BUT.....
I am also afraid and nervous.
Not for me. (Okay a little for me)
But for him.
I have said it before and I will say it again: To him we will be strangers, complete with weird faces and strange smells. To him we are just another shake up.
I know that time will march on and we will all come out on the other side of this thing loving and trusting and with a whole new family.
But the getting there? That might be rough.
Then again it might not.
The thing is, I have no idea how he will be.
I do know though that even if he is Wonder Baby - mellow and loving and easy to adjust, we are still going to have that trip. Another one of those two weeks in a strange land kind of experiences.
Even if he never bats an eye and Ev is all goodness and light. I will still be adding another child to this equation.
In one glorious moment they will hand me the cutest, chubby cheeked little 21 month old boy, and they will walk away.
And we will be thousands of miles away from home and have days upon days until we can even begin to turn our faces towards home. So that in and of itself is daunting and worrisome.
I could write a book on what he will be going through. Our little Liam. My bright son.
So.
Excitement.
Yes it is there, a long slow burn of excitement.
I am doing all of the things that make my heart light with anticipation.
The highchair, the crib, the endless fondling of clothes and picking out the perfect toy cars to take. I am cleaning and making lists and I am gathering unto me the tools that I will need to meet his needs.
This morning I thought, in a sleepy haze, "Six days. Only six days until I can get on that plane". And it was joy. Pure joy.
Not like with Ev though, where I was just eaten alive with feelings of joy and excitement for myself.
It is a quiet joy, thoughtful and cautious, mixed in tightly with worries for him and his spirit.
And I have come to realize that it's ok. That no matter what he is wanted and loved and he will be cherished and spoiled and have cookies, and Grandparents who are proud to know him, and an
Aunt who is fierce in her love, a cousin who shouts, no, SCREAMS with joy when he hears that Liam is coming, a sister who will be the best big sister a boy could ever know, and there will be healing both physical and spiritual... oh and a Papa, a sweet, kind lovely bear of man to teach him the ways of life.....
And so if I feel fear and anxiety mixed with love, anticipation and joy and that long slow burn of excitement, it just means I have done this before. It means that I am still a bit shell shocked form our first weeks home with Ev. It means that I am placing Liam over my own feelings, and that's not all bad is it?
Because even though the expenses are over the moon and alot more than we counted on. Even though it will be hard, even knowing what I know about what is to come- you would have to literally take my life and breath from my body to stop me from going to him.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
On Making Friends
Sometimes my daughter? She just amazes me.
If you watch her in a cloud of peers she will always make a friend. Or two.
She has always been a bit like this, I mean after we got her settled and feeling somewhat secure.
She will approach, then make a few casual drive-by's and then before you know it she is bossing about three or four kids around and they are all giggling and laughing.
Just look what happens each year when we report to The Station for fireworks on the 4th.
If you watch her in a cloud of peers she will always make a friend. Or two.
She has always been a bit like this, I mean after we got her settled and feeling somewhat secure.
She will approach, then make a few casual drive-by's and then before you know it she is bossing about three or four kids around and they are all giggling and laughing.
Friday, July 9, 2010
The Big Reveal
Make video montages at www.OneTrueMedia.com
So this is it. We are done with the house (for the most part). It was many long weeks and hours of work. We have basically prepped, cleaned and painted every square inch of wall space. We have ripped out carpet and re-finished floors. I have scrubbed wall paper glue until I wept. I have sanded every wall. We removed a gajillion staples from the floor. We also primed and painted every inch of trim work. We agonized over paint colors and we agonized over window treatments.
I lived with blankets on the windows at night, for weeks, because I could not make a decision on the windows. As you see we went with Wood Blinds in Black! EEKK! I was afraid to actually do it but we did and I am glad as I am really pleased with the way they look. They are not too dark at all -unless taht's what we want as we have so many options on the positions and the louvers. Yes the living room is dark red- we love, love, love it. The entire feel of the house is different, it feels like us now.
The pictures at the end were taken before I had the blinds but I think they show the colors more true- as we see them and live in them.
This is the home Liam will come home to. I hope he is comfortable here.
(These pics are for those viewing at work who can't see the video)
Location, Location, Location
As we have moved through the various stages of Liam's adoption, I have moved certain things around the house.
His sippy cups and dishes.
Months ago I made the first tentative purchases. With those first couple of purchases, it's like you're pretending. It all feels very similar to playing house when you are young. It feels real , and it seems real but oh so far off.
I researched cleft affected kids and what kind of cups they need and then I set out to find them. Not in one day or even in one month but here and there. I would buy a cup, bring it home and test it and then stash it away up in his closet.
Then we got our Pre-Approval and I gathered them up and moved them into a hall closet upstairs.
Then we got our LOA and I moved them into a cupboard in the kitchen along with some cute monster and robot dishes.
Now that we have our TA and I have purchased tickets, I am in the process of re-arranging the entire kitchen to make room out on an open and prominent, easy access shelf right there...in the open....in the kitchen.
Because I am now certain that he is coming home and he will need those cups. And I will be the one getting them for him and filling them with juice and washing them.
It seems that Liam is coming home.
The sippy cups prove it.
His sippy cups and dishes.
Months ago I made the first tentative purchases. With those first couple of purchases, it's like you're pretending. It all feels very similar to playing house when you are young. It feels real , and it seems real but oh so far off.
I researched cleft affected kids and what kind of cups they need and then I set out to find them. Not in one day or even in one month but here and there. I would buy a cup, bring it home and test it and then stash it away up in his closet.
Then we got our Pre-Approval and I gathered them up and moved them into a hall closet upstairs.
Then we got our LOA and I moved them into a cupboard in the kitchen along with some cute monster and robot dishes.
Now that we have our TA and I have purchased tickets, I am in the process of re-arranging the entire kitchen to make room out on an open and prominent, easy access shelf right there...in the open....in the kitchen.
Because I am now certain that he is coming home and he will need those cups. And I will be the one getting them for him and filling them with juice and washing them.
It seems that Liam is coming home.
The sippy cups prove it.
Sticker Shock
Well we are well and truly China Bound. For the adoptive parents the plane tickets and associated costs are kind of like the "Gimme an epidural you pig!!!!" kind of moment. That moment when the price of your decisions come crashing in. This time around we were quite stunned to learn that our given estimates for the cost of the flight was off- by ALOT. Ah well, it's only money. I had my official "Freak Out Over the Cost of the Tickets" and that's out of the way. I think that the next freak out on the schedule is "Les is a Monster and Refuses To Let Me Pack The Kitchen Sink So He Must Be EVIL And He Is My Mortal Enemy And I will Throw Something At Him Then Call My Sister So She Can Agree That He Is A Bastard"- but that probably won't happen until say like....umm... the 20th or so probably at 1 am.
I should have spent today packing and cleaning and making lists. That's what any sane woman would do.
But not I.
Nope. Ev and I packed up and headed out. We fueled up with a gigantic Coke Slushy and went to the pool. And we swam for three hours.
I figure that eventually I will start pulling things together for real but for today she and I wanted to be together in the sun thinking of nothing but right now and how good that slushy is.
Also no one had any Anger Juice in their heart thermos today so - everybody wins!
I should have spent today packing and cleaning and making lists. That's what any sane woman would do.
But not I.
Nope. Ev and I packed up and headed out. We fueled up with a gigantic Coke Slushy and went to the pool. And we swam for three hours.
I figure that eventually I will start pulling things together for real but for today she and I wanted to be together in the sun thinking of nothing but right now and how good that slushy is.
Also no one had any Anger Juice in their heart thermos today so - everybody wins!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
What's In Your Thermos?
Ev got mad at us yesterday. Both parents, it seems treated her with indignity (in her mind) and it made her mad. MAD.
The problem is that she tried to keep it all bottled up.
This is why last night at 10:30 pm , instead of sitting with a snack and watching a movie with my husband, I was playing Dr. Phil to a very, singularly put out 6 year old.
I was glad to so this really because she is so stoic and truly needs help dragging her emotions out and talking about them.
During this talk she laid out what I think is the best verbal description of anger that I have ever heard.
E: I have a big temper Mama.
M: I know kiddo. That's ok. I have one too.
E: I was really mad at you Mama and I wanted to yell at you.
M: Why didn't you?
E: I don't know.
Papa: Are you still mad?
E: Yes.
M: Do you want to get rid of your mad?
E: Not yet. It's right there in the middle of my heart.
M: In the middle of your heart?
E: Yes my thermos is full!
P: Your thermos?
E: Yes. I have a thermos inside and sometimes it's empty but sometimes I get mad and my thermos gets filled up.
P: What does your thermos get full of?
E: Juice. Mad Juice that's HOT.
P: So your thermos gets full of hot anger juice?
E: Yes and when it full, even when the air conditioner is on and it's cold in the room, you feel hot.
There you have it.
Hot anger juice in a heart thermos.
The problem is that she tried to keep it all bottled up.
This is why last night at 10:30 pm , instead of sitting with a snack and watching a movie with my husband, I was playing Dr. Phil to a very, singularly put out 6 year old.
I was glad to so this really because she is so stoic and truly needs help dragging her emotions out and talking about them.
During this talk she laid out what I think is the best verbal description of anger that I have ever heard.
E: I have a big temper Mama.
M: I know kiddo. That's ok. I have one too.
E: I was really mad at you Mama and I wanted to yell at you.
M: Why didn't you?
E: I don't know.
Papa: Are you still mad?
E: Yes.
M: Do you want to get rid of your mad?
E: Not yet. It's right there in the middle of my heart.
M: In the middle of your heart?
E: Yes my thermos is full!
P: Your thermos?
E: Yes. I have a thermos inside and sometimes it's empty but sometimes I get mad and my thermos gets filled up.
P: What does your thermos get full of?
E: Juice. Mad Juice that's HOT.
P: So your thermos gets full of hot anger juice?
E: Yes and when it full, even when the air conditioner is on and it's cold in the room, you feel hot.
There you have it.
Hot anger juice in a heart thermos.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
Tuesday July 6 at 5:51 pm
That was the exact time I checked e-mails and saw that there was one from our agency.
E-mail that is.
TA that is!!!
Yes, folks we have TA!!! We are now t-minus 14 days until departure. 16 days until I get to hold Liam, that sweet chubby cheeked little guy, for the first time.
I am weirdly calm. Les is weirdly calm.
My Mom and my sister though did enough shouting and crying for everyone involved.
And now we pack. And now we clean. And now we really and truly begin to fret over shoes for the little guy. And it's all appropriate. It's time.
Will he hate us? Will he eat and drink for us? Will he poo poo for us? Will he be wild and crazy or cool and calm? Will he like to have his feet tickled or will he hate that, like Ev did/does?
For those of you out there keeping track, I'll break it down for you.
From our start to TA it has been 16 months.
From referral to TA it has been 7 months and 1 day.
Our DTC was actually AFTER the referral at almost 12 months exactly from our start.
From referral to LOA was 121 days ( 4 months and 2 days).
From LOA to Article 5 was 49 days.
From LOA to Ta was 64 days.
We have about 14 days notice for travel.
( Also for anyone out there interested, we are CCAI Group 1609)
We will have more concrete plans in a few days. Also, hopefully some updated measurements so I can stop worrying over shoes!
E-mail that is.
TA that is!!!
Yes, folks we have TA!!! We are now t-minus 14 days until departure. 16 days until I get to hold Liam, that sweet chubby cheeked little guy, for the first time.
I am weirdly calm. Les is weirdly calm.
My Mom and my sister though did enough shouting and crying for everyone involved.
And now we pack. And now we clean. And now we really and truly begin to fret over shoes for the little guy. And it's all appropriate. It's time.
Will he hate us? Will he eat and drink for us? Will he poo poo for us? Will he be wild and crazy or cool and calm? Will he like to have his feet tickled or will he hate that, like Ev did/does?
For those of you out there keeping track, I'll break it down for you.
From our start to TA it has been 16 months.
From referral to TA it has been 7 months and 1 day.
Our DTC was actually AFTER the referral at almost 12 months exactly from our start.
From referral to LOA was 121 days ( 4 months and 2 days).
From LOA to Article 5 was 49 days.
From LOA to Ta was 64 days.
We have about 14 days notice for travel.
( Also for anyone out there interested, we are CCAI Group 1609)
We will have more concrete plans in a few days. Also, hopefully some updated measurements so I can stop worrying over shoes!
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Becoming JieJie
Honestly, I am not sure if every 5 or 6 year old who is about to get a sibling reacts in the way that my daughter has. To me, it is astounding and wonderful and the way she handles it, makes her wise beyond her years. But seeing that I am her Mama and completely infatuated with her and happen to think she is the coolest thing since humans learned how to use tools....I may be willing to concede that this whole process for her is just- normal. She is average. But until someone says otherwise I will go on believing that she is wise, tender hearted and more mature than can be expected.
I do think that there is an aspect of Ev processing her own past and that does add another dimension to this thing for her. I can watch her study the updates that we get from China and the emotions I see flowing through her, are I think, for both herself and her brother.
In the most recent update we received, she got mad. I mean MAD. When she could talk and tell me what the issue was, it seems that she was seriously angry about the state of her brother's clothes! Now I ask you what 5 year old would even notice shabby clothes on a picture of another child? Let alone be MAD about what that signifies? Here is what she said about it " Why is he wearing that shirt?! It's not nice! It's for girls I think. WHY? I don't want my brother wearing dirty things that look like that. They should just let us go and get him and bring him home so we can dress him nice and love him and be his family!!!"
And please believe me when I say that she DOES NOT hear ANYONE talk like that about the state of his clothes or the type of care he is receiving. I have to believe that he is being well cared for, (and I try to convey this to Ev)- as well as any child can be cared for in an Institution anyway- but we all know this does not mean that he is in a home-like environment. We can all make a guess I think at what his life is like these last weeks waiting for us.
I feel that somewhere in her body Ev remembers that life. I also think that it speaks highly of her that she has never once voiced anger or concern over herself or her past- that's all reserved for Liam. ( We do talk with her about her own memories and feelings but her initial reactions are always with Liam first )
I am also very careful about how much I talk about Liam to her. I do not want her remembering this time in her life and think " Mama only worried about Liam" So, while we do incorporate our feelings about him and waiting for him in our daily lives - I am particularly careful about how much of this she hears. Trust me, I could go on and on and on and on about how badly I want him home. Despite my deliberate and purposeful ways, Ev will bring Liam up and talk about him and worry over him time and time again, all day, every day. No trip to the park is left without talking about how she will have me put Liam in THIS swing and how she will push him. No trip to Costco without talking about how he will one day be right there in the seat next to her. Not one bedtime passes that we don't have to talk about Liam at snuggle time.
I knew that adoptive parents bonded with the picture of their children. I always thought that kids of a certain age just sort of went along and didn't really get it. Not this girl, she is truly in love with her brother.
And no, I am not silly enough to believe that we will have all sunshine and happiness when we bring him home. I am sure there will be tough days, but I also know that this JieJie truly loves her DiDi and I think that will take us all a long way.
I think this picture sums up my little JieJie. It's "paperwork" she has done for her brother. It is addressed to our agency and says " I hope that my brother is doing well". Her words, her feelings.
I do think that there is an aspect of Ev processing her own past and that does add another dimension to this thing for her. I can watch her study the updates that we get from China and the emotions I see flowing through her, are I think, for both herself and her brother.
In the most recent update we received, she got mad. I mean MAD. When she could talk and tell me what the issue was, it seems that she was seriously angry about the state of her brother's clothes! Now I ask you what 5 year old would even notice shabby clothes on a picture of another child? Let alone be MAD about what that signifies? Here is what she said about it " Why is he wearing that shirt?! It's not nice! It's for girls I think. WHY? I don't want my brother wearing dirty things that look like that. They should just let us go and get him and bring him home so we can dress him nice and love him and be his family!!!"
And please believe me when I say that she DOES NOT hear ANYONE talk like that about the state of his clothes or the type of care he is receiving. I have to believe that he is being well cared for, (and I try to convey this to Ev)- as well as any child can be cared for in an Institution anyway- but we all know this does not mean that he is in a home-like environment. We can all make a guess I think at what his life is like these last weeks waiting for us.
I feel that somewhere in her body Ev remembers that life. I also think that it speaks highly of her that she has never once voiced anger or concern over herself or her past- that's all reserved for Liam. ( We do talk with her about her own memories and feelings but her initial reactions are always with Liam first )
I am also very careful about how much I talk about Liam to her. I do not want her remembering this time in her life and think " Mama only worried about Liam" So, while we do incorporate our feelings about him and waiting for him in our daily lives - I am particularly careful about how much of this she hears. Trust me, I could go on and on and on and on about how badly I want him home. Despite my deliberate and purposeful ways, Ev will bring Liam up and talk about him and worry over him time and time again, all day, every day. No trip to the park is left without talking about how she will have me put Liam in THIS swing and how she will push him. No trip to Costco without talking about how he will one day be right there in the seat next to her. Not one bedtime passes that we don't have to talk about Liam at snuggle time.
I knew that adoptive parents bonded with the picture of their children. I always thought that kids of a certain age just sort of went along and didn't really get it. Not this girl, she is truly in love with her brother.
And no, I am not silly enough to believe that we will have all sunshine and happiness when we bring him home. I am sure there will be tough days, but I also know that this JieJie truly loves her DiDi and I think that will take us all a long way.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Headache
I am seriously behind on most things in my life, including and especially things on the computer, like blogging and reading blogs and e-mailing.
I am having a headache from hell.
My Doc did not want to admit migraines because I have SUCH a history with sinusitis and the like.
So after having a CT that was negative, I think he is being forced to admit that I was right.
Migraines it is.
I will be seeing a Neurologist (hopefully soon) and I am off to pick up a more hefty rx for the pain that I am enduring right now. Because my headache is laughing at the first med the Doc gave me.
This is day 6 of pain.
I will not go into the details.
Lets just say that I am really and truly about the sickest that I have ever been.
This really needs to be resolved before China calls.
So please forgive the lack of updates and coms- I will be back as soon as I can.
I am having a headache from hell.
My Doc did not want to admit migraines because I have SUCH a history with sinusitis and the like.
So after having a CT that was negative, I think he is being forced to admit that I was right.
Migraines it is.
I will be seeing a Neurologist (hopefully soon) and I am off to pick up a more hefty rx for the pain that I am enduring right now. Because my headache is laughing at the first med the Doc gave me.
This is day 6 of pain.
I will not go into the details.
Lets just say that I am really and truly about the sickest that I have ever been.
This really needs to be resolved before China calls.
So please forgive the lack of updates and coms- I will be back as soon as I can.
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