Some small but profound shift in things happened some time this week, seemingly in between breaths. One minute we were all still struggling, and in the next, things were easier.
It is difficult to put into words.
I was here, doing my thing and wondering about attachment and bonding - on all sides. And then I noticed, that I wasn't wondering about it constantly anymore. That suddenly we were just doing the things we do, and having fun and seeing the stress wash away.
Today I feel more optimistic and happy about our futures together. I can see the pieces starting to fall into place. I see him trying, I feel Les trying harder to get it right, I see myself taking more time to get it right. I see Ev being Ev.
It's all good.
Better than last week, not as good as it will be next week.
It's called progress.
I like progress.
2 comments:
Attachment is a strange process. Sometimes we think we should feel love right away and when we don't, we feel ashamed and worried. I know I sure did! I'm glad things are feeling less stressful now. You did this much faster than I did. Seriously, it took a whole year when we adopted our 2nd (she was 2 years old and the time). Very different than our first adoption and even though I knew I should compare the two experiences, I couldn't help it. It was hard but we chipped away at eachother's hearts for a very long time until one day, there wasn't anything standing between our love.
Donna
Our Blog: Double Happiness!
Donna, thank you so much for your kind words. It's true, we do feel ashamed when we aren't all glowy and feel that deep love for our kids at first. It's a very difficult time, but mostly because of the guilt. Trust me, we aren't all the way there yet. I just felt that first significant shift last week. You have it exactly right- I love what you say about chipping away- that's it exactly.
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