First off, let me say that my Dad has managed to survive another surgery/hospital stay. Hopefully this will be the last of his surgeries for the same thing! I was very impressed with his Surgeon (I have never felt that the recurrence of this issue was the fault of the surgeon), however generally appalled at the state of nursing care in that modern "top of the line" facility. Now, having just had two very dismal experiences in the past couple of years, to my parents, the less than mediocre care that Dad received was rave worthy and I didn't stir the pot any. Let me just say though that I used to think that I only ranked as a fair to middlin' nurse but maybe I need to re-think that.
Secondly, Leslie and The Bean were pretty good together! I am extremely grateful for Leslie's ability to step in and take over and keep the house and the kid on track while I am away. They ate, they played, they cleaned, they bathed.... we all missed each other but it was manageable. Bean and I did have a few teary phone calls and I always had to be very clear on what I was doing and where I was and where the car was parked(?!!!) but she managed. Now that I have been back, she tells me at least 4 times a day that she missed me when I was away and then she emphatically reminds me that I am her Mama.
Yes kid, I am indeed, your Mama, and happy to be.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Monday, April 7, 2008
Another Week Off?????
Well, yes. I am having another week off. I am going back up to Ohio. By. Myself.
My Dad is slated for a round of medical torture (more commonly known as surgery), and I am going up to be with him and my Mom for a few days.
What about Evelyn? What about Leslie? What about all of those dinners that will need to be cooked? What about all of that cat hair? What about Stella's daily insulin? What about Story Hour and Gymnastics? What about.....? (I can just hear you asking)
Leslie will have a crack at being me for a week, that's what. He took a couple of days off from work this week and he and Ev are staying here at the hacienda without me. Brave man. Good man. I am sure that they will be alright and manage to have a super time without me. I know that he will manage to get it all taken care of so I am not really worried about them at all.....yet, I am a bit worried, you know? The only time that I have ever been away from Evelyn is the two days when I went and had my surgery, so this is big time stuff for us.
When I told her about this, she sat for a minute and thought. She started worrying and wringing her hands. She finally said " Well, I know Grumpaw needs help but why can't Grandma take care of it?" She works and has to work, I said. "What about Lissa then? She can do it." No kiddo, Lissa works and goes to school and takes care of Brevin, I said. She then thought for a bit more and announced "I am here to tell you that GG doesn't work, she doesn't go to school, she can do it and you can stay home with The Bean" !! HA! (GG is my Grandma and Bean's Great Grandma, so you know not in the prime work force years of her life).
Bean is used to the idea now and she is looking at this as some type of strange experiment I am sure of it. She keeps asking all of these questions to see if Les is going to do things the exact way that I do and our answers always leave her a bit skeptical. I have made a calendar for her to cross the days that I am gone, off- so she will see when I will get home. I have readied the kid and the house as much as I can to make things easier for Leslie.
They will be fine.
Yeah, they'll be okay.
Right?
My Dad is slated for a round of medical torture (more commonly known as surgery), and I am going up to be with him and my Mom for a few days.
What about Evelyn? What about Leslie? What about all of those dinners that will need to be cooked? What about all of that cat hair? What about Stella's daily insulin? What about Story Hour and Gymnastics? What about.....? (I can just hear you asking)
Leslie will have a crack at being me for a week, that's what. He took a couple of days off from work this week and he and Ev are staying here at the hacienda without me. Brave man. Good man. I am sure that they will be alright and manage to have a super time without me. I know that he will manage to get it all taken care of so I am not really worried about them at all.....yet, I am a bit worried, you know? The only time that I have ever been away from Evelyn is the two days when I went and had my surgery, so this is big time stuff for us.
When I told her about this, she sat for a minute and thought. She started worrying and wringing her hands. She finally said " Well, I know Grumpaw needs help but why can't Grandma take care of it?" She works and has to work, I said. "What about Lissa then? She can do it." No kiddo, Lissa works and goes to school and takes care of Brevin, I said. She then thought for a bit more and announced "I am here to tell you that GG doesn't work, she doesn't go to school, she can do it and you can stay home with The Bean" !! HA! (GG is my Grandma and Bean's Great Grandma, so you know not in the prime work force years of her life).
Bean is used to the idea now and she is looking at this as some type of strange experiment I am sure of it. She keeps asking all of these questions to see if Les is going to do things the exact way that I do and our answers always leave her a bit skeptical. I have made a calendar for her to cross the days that I am gone, off- so she will see when I will get home. I have readied the kid and the house as much as I can to make things easier for Leslie.
They will be fine.
Yeah, they'll be okay.
Right?
Sunday, April 6, 2008
A Great Papa
Les came in from work last night and we talked for a few minutes. Then he called Bean to him and they trotted off for some fun together. He took her into our bedroom and they played "Toss The Bean" and various other games that make these full on girly giggles and big man hoots of laughter fill the house. After awhile of this, he came through the house and I said, "you know Les, she really needed that". His reply? "Well, Michal I needed it too". There is the difference between a good Papa and a great Papa. A great Papa NEEDS and searches out time with his kids. We are lucky to have him, The Bean and I.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Did you set the timer?
In our attempt to have a more balanced social setting here in the house we have been having Bean play in her room for a set period. My goal is to have this for an hour everyday, before naptime. We used to do this when she was younger at the old house, that house was smaller though and she was cool with it because we were always close to her. Her length of time at that point was about 15 minutes. For some reason, we just stopped doing it since living at this house. So really we were completely out of this and she would never make it up to her room to play with all of her great toys up there (unless it was when we were there too) and I would only have a break at nap time and let's just say that I haven't grown out of my naps yet....
We started having her head to her room for playtime when we got back from Ohio. I figured that we had been gone awhile and it was a great time to start something new. OK. The first day, she went up and sat at the top of the stairs complaining and having one made up trouble after another, this was for 20 minutes. The next day at 30 minutes, she played for 10 and complained for 20. The next day, her Papa was home. He set that timer for a solid hour and sent her off, she was a bit happier to go that day and she actually went up and played for 40 minutes, then she hollered for 20 and got totally silent. You guessed it- she was sound asleep across her bed, in flip flops , hugging like 12 stuffed animals. Since that day, we have had no trouble, and as a matter of fact she headed up the stairs on her own today and said " did you set the timer? I am going to play!!!" I am now listening to her jump and play and rumble through her toy box (that we cleaned out and organized together, I got rid of any toy that was too young for her and now the toy box is much more interesting).
Did I set the timer? Hell yes I set the timer !!!!!! I set that timer and now I am thinking entire thoughts, oh the luxury.
We started having her head to her room for playtime when we got back from Ohio. I figured that we had been gone awhile and it was a great time to start something new. OK. The first day, she went up and sat at the top of the stairs complaining and having one made up trouble after another, this was for 20 minutes. The next day at 30 minutes, she played for 10 and complained for 20. The next day, her Papa was home. He set that timer for a solid hour and sent her off, she was a bit happier to go that day and she actually went up and played for 40 minutes, then she hollered for 20 and got totally silent. You guessed it- she was sound asleep across her bed, in flip flops , hugging like 12 stuffed animals. Since that day, we have had no trouble, and as a matter of fact she headed up the stairs on her own today and said " did you set the timer? I am going to play!!!" I am now listening to her jump and play and rumble through her toy box (that we cleaned out and organized together, I got rid of any toy that was too young for her and now the toy box is much more interesting).
Did I set the timer? Hell yes I set the timer !!!!!! I set that timer and now I am thinking entire thoughts, oh the luxury.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Rocky IV - Dillon Style
I have been debating with myself about this post or one like it. On one hand I think that this Blog is about keeping people up to date on Bean and what is happening in that area of my life and that's great, that's what I started this thing for. On the other hand, even I get a little tired of just the happy, easy moments highlighted. I don't want to have a Blog that is false with sweetness and light, I also don't want a " hey look we have troubles", so my Blog is edgy and gritty. So I try for a balance, though I do realize that the "balance" is still kid/adoption related, I have few hold backs when it comes to talking about the aspects of adoption, both positive and negative. I do tend to hold things back about the other facets of our life and it seems to me that this is becominga bit unbalanced and that bothers me some. I have also come to enjoy keeping this blog and writing about certain things here has helped me resolve them internally. So you may start to see a bit more of the family stuff and not just the Bean stuff.
Having said all that let me tell you about Hell Week, also known as The House Hunt from Hell, also known as Seeing How Much Dillon Can Jodi Really Take, also known as The Week That Nearly Ended In Disaster... Ok I will skip ALOT of the details here, you don't really need to hear about every single terrible house we saw, just know that they were bad, B-A-D, bad. We had to house hunt with a three year old who had already driven two days and 16 hours to get there, in and out of the car umpteen times a day, hungry most of the day because , well, we were just that busy. We were under the impression that we had the 10 days to find a house or the world would end, we unrealistically expected to get everything done and have a house to move into as we pulled out of Carolina- aw.... stupid people...... So the week got bad, fast and I am not even adding in the pre-existing family issues that came along on the ride with us. Let's just say that three years with no babysitter that we can rely on for any significant break has taken it's toll on our marriage. Let's just say that having an extremely intelligent child that needs a high, sustained level of attention has taken it's toll as well. Let's just say that all of that combined with crappy house hunt and feeling of impending doom, sent Les and I into the single worst fight of our marriage.
The kind of fight that leaves you raw and exposed. The kind of fight that will likely be remembered by your child for her entire life and end up being the root of all of her adult anxieties. It was a brutal, unforgiving few hours that I really don't want to ever think about or re-live. Really though, I wouldn't take it back. We needed to clear the air. We needed to push each other a bit to see how strong our commitment was to each other. So we had a nuclear meltdown, so what? At then end of the day we still went to sleep holding each other and knowing that we were still all right and knowing that, yes, after all we were still in love with each other. I am shocked at how hard I pushed Les and shocked at how hard he pushed back, while sticking around. ( On a side note here I am also shocked that the voice of reason was my sister, a chic notorious for blowing her stack and melting someone to the bone with the power of her Laser Anger Vision- a respectable talent, truly).
The coming back together has been slower than fights in the past. Some of that is because of the child and her needs and our need to just be her parents. Also, I think some of it is because we are utterly amazed that we are still here and still laughing at each other's silly jokes. But I trust this more, you know? We are reshuffling our life and some priorities, we are making more time for each other and we have learned that it's okay to shoo Bean off to her own activity so we can just TALK (for any interested the talking tonight consisted of thoughts on kitchen designs and the terrible state of our public school systems and it was marvelous and amazing that we could get out more that a thought and a half before being interrupted).
I have been slow to Blog, slow to e-mail and slow to call or answer calls. I have been in a semi-state of suspension, just brewing things over in my head and re- cooperating after that trip from hell. During that week and here at home after things settled down a bit, I have been given some good, strong advice from Jodi and my sister and I really think that the things they said weren't easy for them to say but they said 'em and I am so grateful that they did, I am so lucky to have you two in my life, you say the hard stuff when no one else can, you tell me to knock it off, suck it up and sometimes you just let me know that yeah, it sucks- thank you. Chris, you just have a talent for listening to me and letting me see how silly I can get sometimes, thank you.
To my husband.... what can I say? You are the reason for my everything. I really and truly could not make it through a single day without you, I mean who else would laugh at my jokes and understand me so completely? I love you, I love you, I love you.
To my parents..... get the basement ready we are heading your way!!!!
This picture was taken in 1993 by Chris Dillon
This picture was taken in Alaska, a timed shot by Les in 2005
Photo by Les, just this week
Having said all that let me tell you about Hell Week, also known as The House Hunt from Hell, also known as Seeing How Much Dillon Can Jodi Really Take, also known as The Week That Nearly Ended In Disaster... Ok I will skip ALOT of the details here, you don't really need to hear about every single terrible house we saw, just know that they were bad, B-A-D, bad. We had to house hunt with a three year old who had already driven two days and 16 hours to get there, in and out of the car umpteen times a day, hungry most of the day because , well, we were just that busy. We were under the impression that we had the 10 days to find a house or the world would end, we unrealistically expected to get everything done and have a house to move into as we pulled out of Carolina- aw.... stupid people...... So the week got bad, fast and I am not even adding in the pre-existing family issues that came along on the ride with us. Let's just say that three years with no babysitter that we can rely on for any significant break has taken it's toll on our marriage. Let's just say that having an extremely intelligent child that needs a high, sustained level of attention has taken it's toll as well. Let's just say that all of that combined with crappy house hunt and feeling of impending doom, sent Les and I into the single worst fight of our marriage.
The kind of fight that leaves you raw and exposed. The kind of fight that will likely be remembered by your child for her entire life and end up being the root of all of her adult anxieties. It was a brutal, unforgiving few hours that I really don't want to ever think about or re-live. Really though, I wouldn't take it back. We needed to clear the air. We needed to push each other a bit to see how strong our commitment was to each other. So we had a nuclear meltdown, so what? At then end of the day we still went to sleep holding each other and knowing that we were still all right and knowing that, yes, after all we were still in love with each other. I am shocked at how hard I pushed Les and shocked at how hard he pushed back, while sticking around. ( On a side note here I am also shocked that the voice of reason was my sister, a chic notorious for blowing her stack and melting someone to the bone with the power of her Laser Anger Vision- a respectable talent, truly).
The coming back together has been slower than fights in the past. Some of that is because of the child and her needs and our need to just be her parents. Also, I think some of it is because we are utterly amazed that we are still here and still laughing at each other's silly jokes. But I trust this more, you know? We are reshuffling our life and some priorities, we are making more time for each other and we have learned that it's okay to shoo Bean off to her own activity so we can just TALK (for any interested the talking tonight consisted of thoughts on kitchen designs and the terrible state of our public school systems and it was marvelous and amazing that we could get out more that a thought and a half before being interrupted).
I have been slow to Blog, slow to e-mail and slow to call or answer calls. I have been in a semi-state of suspension, just brewing things over in my head and re- cooperating after that trip from hell. During that week and here at home after things settled down a bit, I have been given some good, strong advice from Jodi and my sister and I really think that the things they said weren't easy for them to say but they said 'em and I am so grateful that they did, I am so lucky to have you two in my life, you say the hard stuff when no one else can, you tell me to knock it off, suck it up and sometimes you just let me know that yeah, it sucks- thank you. Chris, you just have a talent for listening to me and letting me see how silly I can get sometimes, thank you.
To my husband.... what can I say? You are the reason for my everything. I really and truly could not make it through a single day without you, I mean who else would laugh at my jokes and understand me so completely? I love you, I love you, I love you.
To my parents..... get the basement ready we are heading your way!!!!
This picture was taken in 1993 by Chris Dillon
This picture was taken in Alaska, a timed shot by Les in 2005
Photo by Les, just this week
Gymnastics!
Today was the first day of Bean's gymnastics class. I went into this today with a heart full of dread and I was prepared to have to take a bawling, nervous, stubborn wreck of a kid out of the gym. Why did I think this? HUM....because for two days, all I had heard was whining and crying about how she did NOT want to go. Leslie and I put the smack down and told her that she was going, that it would be okay, that she would have fun and that was then end of it. We told her this not once or twice but many, many times.
So today we pull up to the place and get out of the car. I noticed that as she and I were walking in, she was kind of chatty and walking fast. We go in and change her into gym clothes and she heads into the gym and promptly freezes up. OK, I did not panic, I remained neutral and upbeat as advised by my wise husband. Well, after a few minutes, I could tell that she was aching to join but,still feeling a bit shy. What is a Mom to do? I'll tell you, she takes off her shoes and socks, cuffs up her jeans and gets in line with about 7 three to five year olds and gets ready to take her turn through the obstacle course even if it means feeling and looking a bit silly, that's what. Lo and behold, I felt a little hand slide into mine and there she was, Bean in line and joining in. After that things went pretty well, she took a turn going through the hoops and off the spring board, she joined in for stretching. Eventually, she looked at me and said "ok Mama you can go now", I quietly bowed out of the activity and let Bean finish her first day at Gymnastics all on her own. Now she is all talk about next week and giving the "big arm finish" for EVERYTHING and she is giggly and proud. Who knew that a simple gymnastics class could make me tear up?
So today we pull up to the place and get out of the car. I noticed that as she and I were walking in, she was kind of chatty and walking fast. We go in and change her into gym clothes and she heads into the gym and promptly freezes up. OK, I did not panic, I remained neutral and upbeat as advised by my wise husband. Well, after a few minutes, I could tell that she was aching to join but,still feeling a bit shy. What is a Mom to do? I'll tell you, she takes off her shoes and socks, cuffs up her jeans and gets in line with about 7 three to five year olds and gets ready to take her turn through the obstacle course even if it means feeling and looking a bit silly, that's what. Lo and behold, I felt a little hand slide into mine and there she was, Bean in line and joining in. After that things went pretty well, she took a turn going through the hoops and off the spring board, she joined in for stretching. Eventually, she looked at me and said "ok Mama you can go now", I quietly bowed out of the activity and let Bean finish her first day at Gymnastics all on her own. Now she is all talk about next week and giving the "big arm finish" for EVERYTHING and she is giggly and proud. Who knew that a simple gymnastics class could make me tear up?
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