Scenes From the Trail

I took Evelyn to, what we call "the big park" for a bike ride today. I had to stop her every once in awhile, ostensibly to take pictures, but I usually just needed a breather. That girl rode another mile and a half and I had to jog most of that just to keep up with her! Her Papa calls her a Hot Rod Harriet.

Restaurant ....or Mama Takes A Stand

The Bean has a favorite game. It's "restaurant".
Really.
It's the single most boring game on the planet to ANYONE but her. It goes like this, she will approach you with a scrap of paper and pencil or something and proceed to hound you until you make a food order. Then whatever it was that you ordered, she will be out of. In actuality, her rest. only has two items and she will never disclose before hand what those two items are, and they are never the same. SO you end up ordering and ordering, only to be systematically shot down by a tiny tyrant. Then she will hustle off and bring your food back and stand there to watch that you eat it all. THEN, SHE TAKES YOUR ORDER AGAIN!!!! This time though, the things that she has are different so you have to start all over again.
There can be variations on this theme. Sometimes it is "Ice Cream Shop" and sometimes it is "Sushi Shop" but don't kid yourself you are playing "Restaurant".
Another variation is that she doesn't really need paper and pencil. The final variation? Well, sometimes she brings you dishes of water with dubious origins (for one week I drank the water she gave me, then I put two and two together and realized that I had been drinking water from the cat bowl!) and you have to find inventive ways to get rid of it without actually drinking it and without her seeing you.
That's it.
That's the whole game.
Really.
It can last up to 40 minutes if you let it.
Also? This has been a favorite game for about a year. Yes, a whole calendar year, maybe more.
So when she tried to play Restaurant through her new walkie-talkies the other day, I snapped.
I am on strike. No more restaurant. (I think I can hear Jodi cheering from here, as she has had an over-exposure to this as well).
NO MORE RESTAURANT!!!!
Free at last, Free at last! Thank God almi....awwww .... you know the rest...

Now, there are some out there (Mom), who will think I am being mean. These would be people with more patience than Job, also people who have not been subjected to this game on a regularly occurring basis.
So she will have to find some other game to play. Cool. I'm good with that, as long as it isn't another well played game around here.... DUM DUM DUMMMM....

Insurance Agent.

Night Time is the Right Time

After many months of ignoring the huge stack of cute animals in her room, Evelyn has taken to wanting as many as she can fit, into her bed, or around her bed. I think it's just so cute.

From left to right, you see Tilde, Peppermint (why she named a huge orange and yellow cat peppermint is beyond me), Lambchoppah, Jack (named after Grandpa),Papa Juan and then Pony. Let me say that she has named all of them but Tilde, I had that pig for her long before she came home from China. These are the guys that MUST be in place on her headboard at night. There is usually a few more in the bed with her, a tiny bat, Baby and Drew (another pig) are the usual bedfellows, but there can be minor changes in the line-up.I keep thinking that I could switch her out of the toddler bed, but quite frankly she still moves around too much and I often find her sleeping with her torso on the bed and her legs on the floor, sort of in a "I fell asleep while praying" pose.

It is my habit to check on her at night still, sometimes a few times a night. I think I do this, not because I am concerned with safety, but because seeing her asleep and still with that peaceful expression, never fails to lift my spirits and melt my heart. Even if I feel like I spent the day being the worst Mom on the planet, I can look at her sleeping face and know that it's alright, we're doing okay. I lived for so long wanting a child and needing to have one sleeping safely with me standing watch, that I sometimes can't believe, even after this long, that she is mine and won't disappear into the night. Besides, she is just about the cutest thing on the planet, all warm and sleepy with her head full of dreams.

New Wheels

While I was out the other day with Jodi, Les and Evelyn spent the day together. The word on the street is that they had a great time too. I know Evelyn had a great day because she ended up with a new bike!!!

She is so little that Les and I never considered that there would be a 2 wheeler out there that she could actually fit on and ride. So, she has been triking it around, longing for a big girl bike. While out the other day, the two of them stumbled across one and Bean jumped on for a test ride. Les says that she just took off on it (it has training wheels) and tooled about the store, never hitting anything and laughing. Even though her desire to own that bike was more than evident, she never asked for it. SO.... Les bought it for her.

She has thanked us a million times. She thinks of her bike all day. She wants to ride all of the time. The first ride that we took her on, on the bike trail at the park she rode about a mile and a half!!!!! WITHOUT STOPPING!!!

I remeber my best bike. It was a banana seated rainbow bike with tassels. That bike was magic. I wanted it so bad. I really wanted that bike. One day when I was riding home from school on the bus, we neared my stop and all of the kids were exclaiming about a cool bike, I had no idea what they were talking about. Then I got up to walk to the front and get off the bus, I looked towards home and then I figured out what the fuss was about. My parents had gone out and bought that bike for me while I was at school and Dad had it parked at the edge of the yard, tilted just so the sun would glint off of it. I tell you those few moments when I was stuck on the bus and everyone wanted my bike, and the knwledge that it was MY bike was sinking into my head, those were some of the best moments that I have ever had. Just knowing in that little minute that my parents knew me and loved me enough to get that bike for me and set it up as a surprise. I am not sure if it was the bike that was so magical or if the magic came from the care that my parents took to make it special, but I know that while I had that bike, I was cool. Hopefully Evelyn feels the same way that I did all of those years ago.






These are not the best pictures, it was getting dark and she was moving pretty quick and we were scrambling to keep up with her.

Goodbye

Friday Evening....

Tonight, as the regular activities of our evening went about, Stella walked through the house and headed down to the basement. I suppose that she was headed to her favorite cool corner to catch a nap on her scratching pad.
She never made it.
After nearly 14 years, Stella has surrendered.

I found her awhile later.
It was rough. Those of you that have seen her in these past couple of years know, she was no longer a pretty cat. She was old and she has been tired for a long time. But she was a good cat right up to the end. A strange little animal, she would follow us around and stay near, but never really a lap cat, she was affectionate in her own way. She loved us though, that was plain because she held on as long as she could just to be with us I think. She was always good for a story about 'Nam or what she called "the Good War", she could cuss like a sailor and she had moxie. Here near the end, we usually had to go looking for her as her health made it necessary for her to sleep alot and stay near a litterbox, but she was always happy to see you and she would squint up at you and purr and lick at your hand.

We have been thinking about putting her down for a few weeks now, we hated seeing her slow and tired. It seemed though that everytime we made that decision, or leaned that way, she would rally and we would find her dashing out the door to go chew grass, or she would hop into my lap for a rare snuggle. Hell, just last night she was chasing a laser light aroung the living room (well, okay, not exactly a chase but it was a faster walk than her normal shuffle). And two days ago she got outside and we had to initiate a Stella Hunt, up and down the street for her, we eventually found her, napping under a big pine tree next door.

So now she's gone. And I am surprised at my grief. I knew she was sick and I knew she was old, I just thought I would have more time to say good-bye.

I am going to sleep tonight with the knowledge that, for once, in many, many months, I won't see Stella's face in the morning. I will have to wake up my little girl and explain why she can't find Stella to say goodmorning to her. I will have to walk my child through the pain that I know she will feel, before I feel ready to do such a thing. I will have to watch that heartache age my girl. I will live my first day without that stinky, sick, strange and wonderful cat.

Two Cousins at the Beach

Different but the Same

I don't have the ability to look at my daughter and say, " oh she has her Papa's nose" nor am I able to think " she has my hair". I can honestly say that this has never, ever bothered me.
When I look at Evelyn, I look at her through my love of her and the familiarity of her little being. And when I see her, I see my daughter. I see that she laughs like me, jokes like Les, I could go on and on about how she is like us. I know that physically she looks nothing like us, I mean I guess she doesn't. I guess that why people can automatically assume that she is adopted. I sometimes ask Les," does Ev really look Chinese?!?!" and I am serious and incredulous because when I look at her, I just see my daughter, that wonderfully familiar face, that tinkling laugh.

When I look up in the evening and Les is reading Evelyn a story, my mind knows that there sits an Asian child with a Caucasian father- but I have to force myself to focus on that difference.

Do you want to know what my heart sees when I look at them? I see my family. I see a little girl that is so much like us, that fits in so perfectly, that it takes my breath away. I see that they tend to hold their head the same way when reading, I see that Evelyn likes to read while eating like Les does, I see that they both love joking, I see that they sound the same sometimes (she mostly sounds like me though), I see them as similar in only that way that full, unbridled love can make anyone the same.