Did you set the timer?

In our attempt to have a more balanced social setting here in the house we have been having Bean play in her room for a set period. My goal is to have this for an hour everyday, before naptime. We used to do this when she was younger at the old house, that house was smaller though and she was cool with it because we were always close to her. Her length of time at that point was about 15 minutes. For some reason, we just stopped doing it since living at this house. So really we were completely out of this and she would never make it up to her room to play with all of her great toys up there (unless it was when we were there too) and I would only have a break at nap time and let's just say that I haven't grown out of my naps yet....
We started having her head to her room for playtime when we got back from Ohio. I figured that we had been gone awhile and it was a great time to start something new. OK. The first day, she went up and sat at the top of the stairs complaining and having one made up trouble after another, this was for 20 minutes. The next day at 30 minutes, she played for 10 and complained for 20. The next day, her Papa was home. He set that timer for a solid hour and sent her off, she was a bit happier to go that day and she actually went up and played for 40 minutes, then she hollered for 20 and got totally silent. You guessed it- she was sound asleep across her bed, in flip flops , hugging like 12 stuffed animals. Since that day, we have had no trouble, and as a matter of fact she headed up the stairs on her own today and said " did you set the timer? I am going to play!!!" I am now listening to her jump and play and rumble through her toy box (that we cleaned out and organized together, I got rid of any toy that was too young for her and now the toy box is much more interesting).
Did I set the timer? Hell yes I set the timer !!!!!! I set that timer and now I am thinking entire thoughts, oh the luxury.

Rocky IV - Dillon Style

I have been debating with myself about this post or one like it. On one hand I think that this Blog is about keeping people up to date on Bean and what is happening in that area of my life and that's great, that's what I started this thing for. On the other hand, even I get a little tired of just the happy, easy moments highlighted. I don't want to have a Blog that is false with sweetness and light, I also don't want a " hey look we have troubles", so my Blog is edgy and gritty. So I try for a balance, though I do realize that the "balance" is still kid/adoption related, I have few hold backs when it comes to talking about the aspects of adoption, both positive and negative. I do tend to hold things back about the other facets of our life and it seems to me that this is becominga bit unbalanced and that bothers me some. I have also come to enjoy keeping this blog and writing about certain things here has helped me resolve them internally. So you may start to see a bit more of the family stuff and not just the Bean stuff.
Having said all that let me tell you about Hell Week, also known as The House Hunt from Hell, also known as Seeing How Much Dillon Can Jodi Really Take, also known as The Week That Nearly Ended In Disaster... Ok I will skip ALOT of the details here, you don't really need to hear about every single terrible house we saw, just know that they were bad, B-A-D, bad. We had to house hunt with a three year old who had already driven two days and 16 hours to get there, in and out of the car umpteen times a day, hungry most of the day because , well, we were just that busy. We were under the impression that we had the 10 days to find a house or the world would end, we unrealistically expected to get everything done and have a house to move into as we pulled out of Carolina- aw.... stupid people...... So the week got bad, fast and I am not even adding in the pre-existing family issues that came along on the ride with us. Let's just say that three years with no babysitter that we can rely on for any significant break has taken it's toll on our marriage. Let's just say that having an extremely intelligent child that needs a high, sustained level of attention has taken it's toll as well. Let's just say that all of that combined with crappy house hunt and feeling of impending doom, sent Les and I into the single worst fight of our marriage.
The kind of fight that leaves you raw and exposed. The kind of fight that will likely be remembered by your child for her entire life and end up being the root of all of her adult anxieties. It was a brutal, unforgiving few hours that I really don't want to ever think about or re-live. Really though, I wouldn't take it back. We needed to clear the air. We needed to push each other a bit to see how strong our commitment was to each other. So we had a nuclear meltdown, so what? At then end of the day we still went to sleep holding each other and knowing that we were still all right and knowing that, yes, after all we were still in love with each other. I am shocked at how hard I pushed Les and shocked at how hard he pushed back, while sticking around. ( On a side note here I am also shocked that the voice of reason was my sister, a chic notorious for blowing her stack and melting someone to the bone with the power of her Laser Anger Vision- a respectable talent, truly).
The coming back together has been slower than fights in the past. Some of that is because of the child and her needs and our need to just be her parents. Also, I think some of it is because we are utterly amazed that we are still here and still laughing at each other's silly jokes. But I trust this more, you know? We are reshuffling our life and some priorities, we are making more time for each other and we have learned that it's okay to shoo Bean off to her own activity so we can just TALK (for any interested the talking tonight consisted of thoughts on kitchen designs and the terrible state of our public school systems and it was marvelous and amazing that we could get out more that a thought and a half before being interrupted).
I have been slow to Blog, slow to e-mail and slow to call or answer calls. I have been in a semi-state of suspension, just brewing things over in my head and re- cooperating after that trip from hell. During that week and here at home after things settled down a bit, I have been given some good, strong advice from Jodi and my sister and I really think that the things they said weren't easy for them to say but they said 'em and I am so grateful that they did, I am so lucky to have you two in my life, you say the hard stuff when no one else can, you tell me to knock it off, suck it up and sometimes you just let me know that yeah, it sucks- thank you. Chris, you just have a talent for listening to me and letting me see how silly I can get sometimes, thank you.
To my husband.... what can I say? You are the reason for my everything. I really and truly could not make it through a single day without you, I mean who else would laugh at my jokes and understand me so completely? I love you, I love you, I love you.
To my parents..... get the basement ready we are heading your way!!!!




This picture was taken in 1993 by Chris Dillon


This picture was taken in Alaska, a timed shot by Les in 2005


Photo by Les, just this week

Gymnastics!

Today was the first day of Bean's gymnastics class. I went into this today with a heart full of dread and I was prepared to have to take a bawling, nervous, stubborn wreck of a kid out of the gym. Why did I think this? HUM....because for two days, all I had heard was whining and crying about how she did NOT want to go. Leslie and I put the smack down and told her that she was going, that it would be okay, that she would have fun and that was then end of it. We told her this not once or twice but many, many times.
So today we pull up to the place and get out of the car. I noticed that as she and I were walking in, she was kind of chatty and walking fast. We go in and change her into gym clothes and she heads into the gym and promptly freezes up. OK, I did not panic, I remained neutral and upbeat as advised by my wise husband. Well, after a few minutes, I could tell that she was aching to join but,still feeling a bit shy. What is a Mom to do? I'll tell you, she takes off her shoes and socks, cuffs up her jeans and gets in line with about 7 three to five year olds and gets ready to take her turn through the obstacle course even if it means feeling and looking a bit silly, that's what. Lo and behold, I felt a little hand slide into mine and there she was, Bean in line and joining in. After that things went pretty well, she took a turn going through the hoops and off the spring board, she joined in for stretching. Eventually, she looked at me and said "ok Mama you can go now", I quietly bowed out of the activity and let Bean finish her first day at Gymnastics all on her own. Now she is all talk about next week and giving the "big arm finish" for EVERYTHING and she is giggly and proud. Who knew that a simple gymnastics class could make me tear up?

Catching up

Well, here is a slideshow of some of our pictures during our week long house hunt.
After house hunting all day, we did have time to spend with family and friends. We were able to spend some time at Leslie's sister's house and visit with her family. We were there on St. Patrick's day and also there for some egg decorating for Easter. We actually spent Easter at my Mom's house and as soon as my sister sends me those photos I will get them up.
On St. Patrick's day, Evelyn's cousins Kate and Aden threw and excellent Tea Party. This was the highlight of Ev's year! Kate and Aden made the food themselves, had labels all made and they were very gracious hosts (Aden I am wanting some more Brown Sugar Pie), there were swirly cookies, tea sandwiches, brown sugar pie and real tea with cream and sugar. It was so fun watching the three of them converse and eat. Then Jenny made a great Irish style meal that I ate until I needed to loosen my pants a bit. Aden and Kate were also very generous and let Ev color some of their Easter eggs with them. I loved watching and hearing those three play. Kate and Aden are great kids and they have alot of patience with Ev (even when she acted a bit nasty to them). We were also able to watch one of Aden's Aikido classes and that was alot of fun, I wanted to take some pictures of him during but I was afraid to interrupt the class (my digital doesn't have the best zoom), I will say that boy can roll like nobodies business.
Easter was then spent at my Mom's house. Between Ev and Brev, there was enough candy to send a diabetic person into a coma. They had fun though and we are 12 stepping Bean off the candy now. I did get Brevin some big boy underwear ( yes, that's the kind of Aunt I am) and he was adorable in them.
That's really it. The house hunt was a bust and we will try again after we pull out of here for the last time. For now though, we are going to try and enjoy our last days in Carolina....
A special thanks to Jenny and Jodi for putting is up and listening to our whining and groaning about the house hunting, and thanks for all of the advice, we needed it.

Back in Action

Well, we are back. Back home and back in blogger-land. I really don't like to announce that we are going to be away from the house for a period of time but, we had to go to Ohio for some house hunting time, so that explains the break.
We had what I would describe as, a terrible 10 day stretch of fruitless and tiring activity that left us all on the brink of insanity and ruin. Seriously. So, ok, that was fun.
We did not find a house. Well, we found one but the situation of the current owner was wierd and interfering and there were a couple of major repairs that would have needed to be done but no one was really cooperating with us for that to happen. This was very frustrating.
Other than house hunting we were able to visit with friends and family and have some fun evenings. We got to have St Patrick's Day at Leslie's sister's house with her family and then, Easter with my family. It was great to be around people for two consecutive holidays and this trip did give us a sense of what it will be like to be in Ohio near our families again.
I now have a clear picture of how much cat hair and scattered litter I clean up in a week's time and let me just say that my wages in no way compensate me for the high, sustained level of quality work that I do around here. In other news, we are completely out of anything vaguely resembling food or laundry soap or beverages...
I have some pictures that I will get loaded up later but for now, my daughter just asked her father if he was "starving just like she was" so I am off to forage for grub and appease these grumbling crowds.

Oh, OK, One more.....

This is Bean and I during our morning commune. She was in a singing mood today and I was able to catch some on video. Not very interesting unless you are family or you just like to hear kids sing silly, half english/half chinese songs about donuts and pillows (at least I THINK that's what this one was about).

Blog ahead entries?

I will be out of the blogging world for a bit here shortly but, I didn't want to miss entries on a few things, so I blogged ahead. Read em as you like. I will be back soon enough.