This past couple of weeks have been hard. The adults here have had alot on their plates, work, the second adoption, Nursing Refresher, Mama has what we call "Sinus Issues". It has all added up to Evelyn not getting attention- hardly any at all, let alone the "only kid and my Mama stays at home and I am totally adorable and must always be talked to" kind of thing that she is used to.
Disclaimer: I believe that it is totally fine for your child/children to have lowered levels of attention. I think that it is fine and healthy that they are not the center of everything all of the time. I know how important it is to have some grown-up time and time to complete adult tasks. However Ev has been getting very little attention at all and then most of that has been gripey, I have a headache and can not translate your request so NO kind of attention. I mean, NO has been flying around quite a bit around here.
Not surprisingly Evelyn is acting up/out. She has been deliberately ignoring me/us. She has been mouthy and distant. She has even been downright mean. I am gettting the hang of this Mothering business because for the first time I did not ask myself "What is her deal?" I asked myself "What is MY deal?" Because you know what? I have learned how much a parent's behavior is direclty relfected in the child.
So I made myself take a long hard look at the kind of Mama I have been lately - and it was ugly. Today I am setting things right. This whole day has been about Ev, I have said yes or why not? or go ahead as many times as possible. I have not worked on anything but being with her. I have tried my best to ignore the pain and nausea of my sinuses. I have made a long term change in how I will go about getting the paperwork for the baby done. We have played silly games in her room. We had a manicure sesison and I let Ev pick out as many colors as she wanted and I applied them to her specifications. I have let her climb in a damp tub in her clothes and play around in the water- just because she wanted to. I have let her run the day.
You know what? It was the right thing. I can tell by the amount of hugs and small smiles I have been given.
Yeah she's spoiled. So what. It's the right kind of spoiled if you ask me. NOT for THINGS but for FAMILY and LOVE.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Out With The Old In With The New
Old bed that is. Old Toddler bed to be more specific. Tonight was a milestone. For the first time in her life Evelyn is sleeping on a mattress that is NOT a crib mattress!
It all started with the Fire Inspection for the Home Study. We had to have the local FD come out and check us for safety and fill out the appropriate paper work in triplicate. There was one snag however. We had the gall to have a day bed in our basement. A daybed that we sit on while Evelyn plays in her place down there. A day bed used for reading and chatting-NOT SLEEPING. Apparently this is a code violation and we had to get the bed out of there. Now we have to reschedule the Inspection, Okay. Fine. At this point I am getting very used to other people having say in how I arrange my house and finances......(picture me screwing my face up in an attempt NOT to give you minute details on my frustrations thus far)......
SOOOOO, they we were. We suddenly found ourselves with too many mattresses and bed frames. Leslie got motivated and we made some changes. We are taking the day bed in the basement down and that means that we had a mattress that would fit the frame that I bought for Ev months ago. We re-arranged some furniture. We de-constructed two beds, constructed one and now Evelyn is in her big girl bed.
Her room STILL needs painted, we are working on that I swear. But wall paper glue is a right pain in the patoot to get off, and ....well, that's all I got. However, she is now in her cool vintage twin size bed and sweet bed linens. Cute. Very cute. The cutest thing was Ev rolling around telling me how "comffable" she was and how big she was.
In summary, a long, bad week gets concluded (hopefully) with a "hey, HOLY CRAPOLA, my daughter is growing up" moment. Tears included.
We were also cleaning her closet out and I was having her try on bathing suits for the summer. She is almost 5 years old and this summer will be the first time that she is completely out of suits in the 12 - 18 months range!!! I am going to start calling her "Stretch".
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Helluva Week
I just had to do that previous post as I am trying to salvage what I can from this week. I needed a laugh. I needed a giggle. I needed to remember that Ev used to be tiny and incapable of smart mouthing. I needed to remember that all things pass, that there are very few things in life that are infinite.
Maybe I am a bit off here. I mean, the week wasn't a total waste. I actually had a few great moments. Like tonight, watching Wall-E with Ev and Billy Bones on my lap and a belly full of yummy dinner. A look I caught on my husbands face when he was looking at me. The way Evelyn's laugh got all echo-y and loud when she was zooming down the slides. The time that Ev got carried away when we were playing "Link does sword battle against random enemy played by Mama" and yelled "Give me back my friend you ....you......! YOU BASTARD!!!!" (yes, 4 year olds cursing is always funny to me even when I have to swallow belly laughs and tell her not to use those words). The way that Evelyn looked playing in the back yard when I pulled up to the house after 8 hours of "Fluid and Electrolyte Balance" at the Nursing Refresher. The wonderful dinner and clean house I came home to after that damn class.
However there were frustrations and futility aplenty.
We have tried to get so much done this week and every time I turn around there is some reason that Item A 1 thru 5 did not get done. Things that I could not foresee to save myself a 40 minute car ride with a tired and hungry kid. Silly bureaucracy that prevented me from getting every single bit of paperwork the Social Worker needed. Hours in the hot car for no good reason. A kid that is sick of being stuffed into the car and hauled around to stand at my side in front of huge counters. A kid that has learned how to pout, talk back and use the word "bastard" in the same week. A kid that spent, I kid you not, about 30 minutes complaining about everything under the sun yesterday. A kid that was driven to thrashing about and weeping. I wanted to do that too, but someone had to first film it, handle it and then make dinner, plus there is that whole Super Ego thing. A sinus headache from hell. Financial hemorrhage. Mother-in-law ISSUES. Finding out that my Dad might need a knee replacement. And the sudden, crushing realization that I must have broken my Mother's heart about a gazillion times in my life.
And just when I thought it couldn't get worse. Just when I thought that I may be on the upswing, I rolled over in bed this morning. My tank top rode up a bit when I did , so I had a bared mid riff when I tossed the blankets back . Then the kid that I had just spent 20 minutes snuggling? Yeah, that kid. She looks down. She smiles big. She pats the exposed flesh and says "oh that big ole tummy"
Et tu Brute?
ET.
TU.
BRUTE?
Maybe I am a bit off here. I mean, the week wasn't a total waste. I actually had a few great moments. Like tonight, watching Wall-E with Ev and Billy Bones on my lap and a belly full of yummy dinner. A look I caught on my husbands face when he was looking at me. The way Evelyn's laugh got all echo-y and loud when she was zooming down the slides. The time that Ev got carried away when we were playing "Link does sword battle against random enemy played by Mama" and yelled "Give me back my friend you ....you......! YOU BASTARD!!!!" (yes, 4 year olds cursing is always funny to me even when I have to swallow belly laughs and tell her not to use those words). The way that Evelyn looked playing in the back yard when I pulled up to the house after 8 hours of "Fluid and Electrolyte Balance" at the Nursing Refresher. The wonderful dinner and clean house I came home to after that damn class.
However there were frustrations and futility aplenty.
We have tried to get so much done this week and every time I turn around there is some reason that Item A 1 thru 5 did not get done. Things that I could not foresee to save myself a 40 minute car ride with a tired and hungry kid. Silly bureaucracy that prevented me from getting every single bit of paperwork the Social Worker needed. Hours in the hot car for no good reason. A kid that is sick of being stuffed into the car and hauled around to stand at my side in front of huge counters. A kid that has learned how to pout, talk back and use the word "bastard" in the same week. A kid that spent, I kid you not, about 30 minutes complaining about everything under the sun yesterday. A kid that was driven to thrashing about and weeping. I wanted to do that too, but someone had to first film it, handle it and then make dinner, plus there is that whole Super Ego thing. A sinus headache from hell. Financial hemorrhage. Mother-in-law ISSUES. Finding out that my Dad might need a knee replacement. And the sudden, crushing realization that I must have broken my Mother's heart about a gazillion times in my life.
And just when I thought it couldn't get worse. Just when I thought that I may be on the upswing, I rolled over in bed this morning. My tank top rode up a bit when I did , so I had a bared mid riff when I tossed the blankets back . Then the kid that I had just spent 20 minutes snuggling? Yeah, that kid. She looks down. She smiles big. She pats the exposed flesh and says "oh that big ole tummy"
Et tu Brute?
ET.
TU.
BRUTE?
Taking Part In Some "Salsa" Fun!
There is this blog I follow- Do They Have Salsa In China?http://salsainchina.blogspot.com/
M3, The Mama of two very gorgeous girls has thrown the gauntlet down in a fashion challenge and I accepted! She has been letting her girls raid their closet and come up with new outfits each day, I must say they have looked great every day this week! M3 wanted to see some outfits that other girls have picked.
This is one of Ev's from a couple of years ago. You can see that she is wearing an animal print jacket, though upside down (I never was able to figure out how she managed to get that on), pink fleece slippers, some bright blue turtle pants, a navy blue t-shirt and of course an orange hand bag for that on the go feeling. The purse by the way was probably stuffed to the gills with tissues.
She has come around a bit to the Right Side of fashion since this picture. I do cringe however when she puts her make-up on for a day about town. Let's just say that she conforms to the Darryl Hannah in Blade Runner school of cosmetics.......
....but with more glitter, less bare belly and definitely less in your face Replicant-ness.
....but with more glitter, less bare belly and definitely less in your face Replicant-ness.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Oh My Gawd! I Think I Broke Her!!
And not in that KGB sort of way, as in an "oops! I dropped her" kind of way......Let me explain.
It was a long day after a short night. There was breakfast, though a smallish one and then she would not consume lunch. Then we had nearly ALL day in the car and driving from one futile stop to the next. It was hot, then it was cold, then Mama was grumpy. Then we picked Papa up for some lunch and more paperwork but there was no time for Quality Bean Time. Then Mama nearly strangled the nice lady at the Auto Title Office who told her that her big ole trip was for nuttin' 'cause both people on the title needed to be there. And that office was/is far away and in a weird part of town and we got lost. Then there was more car and not more food. Then Mama thought it would be smart to take the very well behaved but tired and kind of hungry kid to the park.
And stay for an hour and a half.
With a tired and hungry kid. (have I made that clear?)
That has a chapped face and lips (we had no goo with us either in case you were wondering).
Who needed to pee before we left the park so she had to pee in the woods (she HATES that by the way) because the restrooms weren't open for the season yet.
Then her lips and face started burning - BAD. And we still had no goo.
No food either.
Same with beverages -nada.
Then there was a whole "hey kid you are acting snotty episode" that involved, peripherally, some crappy lip goo from Christmas.
And she broke.
Sobbing. Weeping. Groaning. Thrashing body. Leg kicking. It looked like this....
So I changed her dirty clothes - the whole time she was sobbing and thrashing. Laid her in her bed. Washed her hands with a warm wash cloth. Changed her park dirty clothes that were also a bit damp from the whole, "peeing in the woods I hate it " episode. Put clean, warm socks on her feet. Smeared her chapped face with Vaseline. Brought nearly a full meal to her bedside. Put on some soothing music and gave her some time.
She is currently out back with her Papa, giggling and riding her bike. After about an hour of laying there eating and listening to music, she jumped up and headed out. She told me "thanks Mama I feel better now".
Her face is lubed and it looks like she fell face first into a greasy pork chop. But she's back to her old self.
Oh! And all of those errands? That was a combination of Adoption Stuff and Keeping the Car Legal. So there will be more of those kinds of days but I think I will work in smaller blocks of time with lots of snacks and supplies in the car.
What am I - an amateur?!?!?! I mean, I don't want this to happen again.....
It was a long day after a short night. There was breakfast, though a smallish one and then she would not consume lunch. Then we had nearly ALL day in the car and driving from one futile stop to the next. It was hot, then it was cold, then Mama was grumpy. Then we picked Papa up for some lunch and more paperwork but there was no time for Quality Bean Time. Then Mama nearly strangled the nice lady at the Auto Title Office who told her that her big ole trip was for nuttin' 'cause both people on the title needed to be there. And that office was/is far away and in a weird part of town and we got lost. Then there was more car and not more food. Then Mama thought it would be smart to take the very well behaved but tired and kind of hungry kid to the park.
And stay for an hour and a half.
With a tired and hungry kid. (have I made that clear?)
That has a chapped face and lips (we had no goo with us either in case you were wondering).
Who needed to pee before we left the park so she had to pee in the woods (she HATES that by the way) because the restrooms weren't open for the season yet.
Then her lips and face started burning - BAD. And we still had no goo.
No food either.
Same with beverages -nada.
Then there was a whole "hey kid you are acting snotty episode" that involved, peripherally, some crappy lip goo from Christmas.
And she broke.
Sobbing. Weeping. Groaning. Thrashing body. Leg kicking. It looked like this....
So I changed her dirty clothes - the whole time she was sobbing and thrashing. Laid her in her bed. Washed her hands with a warm wash cloth. Changed her park dirty clothes that were also a bit damp from the whole, "peeing in the woods I hate it " episode. Put clean, warm socks on her feet. Smeared her chapped face with Vaseline. Brought nearly a full meal to her bedside. Put on some soothing music and gave her some time.
She is currently out back with her Papa, giggling and riding her bike. After about an hour of laying there eating and listening to music, she jumped up and headed out. She told me "thanks Mama I feel better now".
Her face is lubed and it looks like she fell face first into a greasy pork chop. But she's back to her old self.
Oh! And all of those errands? That was a combination of Adoption Stuff and Keeping the Car Legal. So there will be more of those kinds of days but I think I will work in smaller blocks of time with lots of snacks and supplies in the car.
What am I - an amateur?!?!?! I mean, I don't want this to happen again.....
Monday, March 23, 2009
This is My Nephew
Isn't he cute? This is quite possibly one of the funniest kids that I have ever met. He just has this innate sense of funny - both verbal and physical. It is nothing to have him walk into the room , pause for effect and then turn himself into a rag doll and hit the floor with his tongue lolling out to simulate some sort of violent death. Everything about this kid is funny, really. He is in a difficult phase with his Aunt Del-Del right now though.
It seems that whenever I am around he MUST first act like a little poop- just to make sure that I am going to stick to my guns just like he last time we saw each other. To be fair to him, I am the most strict adult that he knows and he is really not used to my in your face kind of style. He is used to more , ummmm, non-confrontational ways. Having said that though, we do love each other and we end up having fun together, we just always have to clear the air first.
My whole point here is that, he is the "other man" in my life. I love this kid dearly. He is really special to me. I lurves him.
Grandma's Are Great
Evelyn loves her Grandma. I know that all kids love their Grandma's but there is something special between my Mom and Evelyn. I can't explain it. It's that excitement of "Grandma" but something deeper too. They just seem to get each other.
Yesterday Mom and Dad came up for a visit and it made Ev's week. We really didn't do anything special, we talked and visited and then had some tacos for dinner. It was just a nice day though. Melissa was at work so Brev was here too. At one point, Ev and Brev had foam swords and they were each half dressed in the Link costume and they were battlng Leslie. There was much holleration and grunting and giggling.
I love when I get to see Ev and my Mom having quiet moments together, I wish that they had more. I think I will force my parents to visit here much more often so Ev can have that.
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