Adjustments

This past couple of weeks have been hard. The adults here have had alot on their plates, work, the second adoption, Nursing Refresher, Mama has what we call "Sinus Issues". It has all added up to Evelyn not getting attention- hardly any at all, let alone the "only kid and my Mama stays at home and I am totally adorable and must always be talked to" kind of thing that she is used to.
Disclaimer: I believe that it is totally fine for your child/children to have lowered levels of attention. I think that it is fine and healthy that they are not the center of everything all of the time. I know how important it is to have some grown-up time and time to complete adult tasks. However Ev has been getting very little attention at all and then most of that has been gripey, I have a headache and can not translate your request so NO kind of attention. I mean, NO has been flying around quite a bit around here.
Not surprisingly Evelyn is acting up/out. She has been deliberately ignoring me/us. She has been mouthy and distant. She has even been downright mean. I am gettting the hang of this Mothering business because for the first time I did not ask myself "What is her deal?" I asked myself "What is MY deal?" Because you know what? I have learned how much a parent's behavior is direclty relfected in the child.
So I made myself take a long hard look at the kind of Mama I have been lately - and it was ugly. Today I am setting things right. This whole day has been about Ev, I have said yes or why not? or go ahead as many times as possible. I have not worked on anything but being with her. I have tried my best to ignore the pain and nausea of my sinuses. I have made a long term change in how I will go about getting the paperwork for the baby done. We have played silly games in her room. We had a manicure sesison and I let Ev pick out as many colors as she wanted and I applied them to her specifications. I have let her climb in a damp tub in her clothes and play around in the water- just because she wanted to. I have let her run the day.
You know what? It was the right thing. I can tell by the amount of hugs and small smiles I have been given.
Yeah she's spoiled. So what. It's the right kind of spoiled if you ask me. NOT for THINGS but for FAMILY and LOVE.