Ok. So I have been trying to strip down the hella bad, flowered, putty colored wallpaper off of the walls in Bean's room. Let me just say? Fun. Yeah. Loads. Of. Fun.
Well the first stripping session, I put Bean in our bed to nap and I proceeded to steam and strip (oh how I wish that phrase meant something cool , sexy and edgy). But Bean was sleeping in the next room and wanted the door open so I was having to be quiet. This means that even when I fell off of the chair and miraculously landed on the blades of the wall paper score-er thingy and perforated the entire side of my right foot....I could not holler, or cuss or slam things around, or fling the score-er out of the blasted window. No. I had to do alot of heavy breathing , you know like Lamaze for the Mortally Wounded, and think really nasty words and phrases in my head.
Second stripping session, hummm.... let's see I had to do that one with Bean awake and flitting about (being Link), needing about 12,000 reminders to stay out from under "The Klutzy Mama on a Chair With A Steaming Tool That Drips BOILING Water Everywhere", while Billy Bones laid across my feet, licking the water glue mess OFF OF THE WALLS, as it dripped down. Also Bean was in charge of the "working music" so that means the every 13.5 seconds, there was a song change. Also it was required to keep a running commentary on Link, love of Link, Link costumes, Link as a wolf (part of the game), Link at night, liking Link, playing Link, Link new sword techniques- you get it.
Then, after the stripping of the wall paper, we were hungry. Since I am so not the type of Mom who can manage Home Improvement AND Nutritious Dinner, I showered quickly so we could get out to Subway. Though while in the shower, Billy Bones was pacing on the edge of the tub, and Evelyn was there between the curtains too and we were continuing the previous conversations about Link but this time with a little "What's Papa been doing?" and "When are we going to Grandma's" thrown in - also commentary on MY activities in the shower. I get out of the shower and as I am trying to dry off, this ear piercing beeping starts torturing us. The smoke detector had run out of batteries! EEE GADS!!! That thing is in the stair well, like 20 feet up in the air.
So there I am , naked and wet, tired and hungry and the Two Musketeers are circling about letting me know just how annoyed they are at the blaring noise emanating from that small thing on the ceiling. Billy Bones was pacing back and forth, meowing and chirping and looking at me like "Mama get that will you?" and then he would swing my way and wrap himself about my feet so that I would know how serious this was and that it hurt. Evelyn was charging about with her ears covered and shouting out ideas and helpful hints, such as "call Papa home", "spray it" ( I never clarified what she wanted me to spray it with), "hit it" (not a bad idea altogether), "get some tape and a towel and tape the towel around it" (also not bad). Then as I am attempting to dry off and get the cat and his hair off of my legs, she marches in and says "you are NOT going to let that go on all night are you? Because I will loose my mind for sure", this was shouted at her full force of course because she still had her ears plugged. I paused here to call my husband, who is always at work when these things happen, just so he could hear the pandemonium, not that I needed help or suggestions after dealing with this sort of thing for 14 years. Then I went outside, after I had some clothes on, to fetch in what I am certain is the heaviest F-ing ladder in the Universe, to stop the noise. However the ladder wouldn't open to it's fullest on the stair landing, so Bean felt it was her moral duty to inform me how Papa uses the ladder and suggested that I wait for him because I was doing it all wrong (again shouted as her ears were plugged) (again with the pacing, meowing cat who after 10 seconds started alternately chewing on the ladder and meowing).
Where was I? Oh yeah. Up on top of the wobbly ladder attempting to remove the obviously cemented in battery and praying fervently that I do not end up in a heap at the bottom of the stairs, bleeding and moaning and the beeping going on.
However I triumphed. The battery came out. The noise stopped. The cat shut up. Evelyn un-plugged her ears and stopped shouting (though she did speak uncharacteristically loud the rest of the night). I rested a few moments and then proceeded to provide dinner and entertainment for the duration of the evening.
Yay for me.
Go Mama.
Then, as I was tucking Evelyn in to bed, she kindly stroked my face, looked me in the eye, and said, "It's a good thing you called Papa so he could tell you what to do with that loudness thingy."
AAAGGGGHHHH!!!!
What did you do today?
P.S. I love these days. I am no fool. I know that these times are the best in my life and even when I am loosing my mind, I am smiling and enjoying it because I know that Evelyn will grow and not be at my feet forever. Billy Bones will get old and sodded. I know that, so I love these times.
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