I said all that to say this.....

Ok. I do have a post about our big trip to hocking Hills. It's coming. I am currently uploading the gajillion pictures, in the mean time, let's talk about something else.
Anybody want to read/hear about my latest in a string of what I like to call "Signs From God that We Are Supposed to Adopt and Everything Will BE Alright So Just Combo #27 Your Heart Out" ?? Huh. Anyone?
Well, then.
Almost a week and a half ago I was looking at the list of Waiting Children on my agency's website, even though I swore to Leslie that I would not look anymore, because it was stressful and made me shaky with nerves and desire. ( Surprise! I lied. I look. All. Of. The. Time.) And also I made that promise and tried to carry through because I KNOW that The Big G has it all under control. But well, I am an interfering biznatch what can I say? I make no excuses for myself. There I was a week and half ago, secretly looking at babies. And I saw a face. A boy. A young boy. With a need that we can handle. And I kind of fell in love. But this is not news. Just look at the Love Without Boundaries Blog- I fall in love at every entry. Except that I could not forget this guy. I knew that we are nowhere near where we need to be financially, so I did not say anything to Les. Then I couldn't help myself. I told him (he was not surprised to hear that I had been baby cruising - apparently he knew all along) and we looked.
Then we talked. Then I freaked out. I wanted this boy. Les said "let's throw out hat in the ring and see what happens" This is where I moaned about money and stresses and made an ass outta myself (happens all of the time) . Les said , we will do what it takes. We could get him home, it's not the perfect plan but it will get him here.
So we called.
Only to be told that that little boy was matched with his family not 48 hours prior.
I was devastated.
I was depressed.
I knew though ultimately that if he was ours, then we would get him. If not, we would not be able to bring him home and that our baby was still out there. Somewhere. So I soldiered on.
All of this happened on Friday. Right as we were at my Mom's house getting ready for the big weekend.
We went on the trip. I was ok. I was "moving on" I was only sad for me and not the baby, I knew he had his family.
Then on Saturday night I saw a family. I saw a tiny Chinese girl in her Papa'a arms. She was little and had a repaired cleft lip. She was an angel. I kept staring and staring at them until they thought I was nuts. Finally, I hurled Ev towards then and said "Oh! Congratulations!" Then we talked for a bit. Those parents said things to me that I needed to hear. Right then and there. Because I wasn't doing as well as I thought. Then I got to kiss Little Miss M's sweet, rosy cheek.
I needed to see that family. I needed to hear what they had to say. They were generous with their time and with their story.
I said all of that to say this "See? God knows. He is here with me. He is guiding me. He knows when I need a little sign or a push." Mostly though He knows where my child is.
You know what? I know that when I take my baby in my arms for the first time, I will feel the echo of Miss M's cheek on my lips. It was my lucky kiss.