Insomnia Run-on

I am not sleeping.
Again.
This is something that I struggle with on almost a daily/nightly basis. I have inherited my father's insomnia- thanks ever so much Dad. Now, if you don't have insomnia and can just sleep when you are supposed to or when you want to or when it's appropriate- you will have absolutely no idea what it is like for someone who simply can not sleep. It's not a lack of tiredness, because you can feel the tiredness pulling at the back of your mind and thoughts, it's simply an inability to follow up on that tiredness. It's now 6:14 am, I finally fell asleep last night at around 1 am, at 3:30 my mind went from being sound asleep to completely and utterly and irreversibly alert, in a split second and there has been no going back. This is very typical. It is so frustrating to lay there minute after long minute, being hyper-aware of every little thing that is happening, leg itches, sounds, your soundly sleeping spouses breathing...... Your mind will start to wander, you will try to plan your future, solve world problems, review your past, eventually your mind runs out of nice things to think of and you start reviewing bad or scary or anxious memories and that is not conducive to sleepy brain- so then you start to try and relax and turn your mind off, impossible. Is it too hot? Is it too cold? Is it the bed? Is it the cats? Nope. It's just your brain mis-firing and there you are, tired, so tired that you would weep if that wouldn't wake your spouse, and sleepy yet sleepless and awake. Awake really isn't the word for it, your BRITTLE, you are just there between two mental states and one is winning out for some insane reason and you are denied rest.
Admittedly, I have always been a "night owl". Fine. I have always been the kook that will clean out cupboards at 1 am or read until 2. That worked for me. I have friends that tease me about sleeping alot, but really even when I was sleeping at night my sleep time was 7 to 8 hours , it just started later than the rest of the world. OK. I could deal with that, I even liked being a night owl, I like being up at night, it's a different world. Before I was a mother I could indulge in that. Not so much after we got Ev. I did successfully switch my schedule and was all turned around, an upright citizen of the "in bed at 10 and up at 7 crowd" that lasted for a few months. Then it all went horribly wrong..... The insomnia started.
The thing with this is that, eventually my mind will turn off or want to turn off and my body will want to follow in the most desperate way, but by then, it's day time (anywhere from 8 am to 11 am) and I have a family and a life that I want to enjoy. It's tough. I try. My husband is so understanding of this. He feels so bad for me sometimes that I think the concern on his face might bring me to tears.
So OK. Solutions. Self induced sleep deprivation in order to re-set the internal clock - this DOES NOT WORK. I have tried that at lest twice a month for months and months now. Ummmmm, rigid schedule with no naps, and lots of exercise- nope that doesn't work. Alcohol intake, nope PLUS I get the added bonus of a headache in the morning. Pills. hummmm pills are tricky. 800 mg of Motrin will help me sleep alright, but I get a nice, "groggy and grumpy all day Motrin hangover". Ditto with Tylenol. The OTC pills that are for sleep give me very hyper dreams and light sleep with weird and twitching legs. I could really go on here but I think you are getting the picture. I have insomnia AND strange reactions to pills- thanks again Dad :)
So I will away to the local quackery next week. I have been on an Ambien trial, Ambien = too strong or either ineffectual. And will now try the newer set of sleep aids like Lunestra or something. Wish me luck.
Until then, I will have to try and grab sleep where I can. So now all of you know why those "Dillon Household Naps" are so damned sacrosanct.