Shapes

It all started with her feet. One day Bean still had those generic but sweet, soft little feet that resemble any child's feet. One day they were round and soft and looked the the feet of a baby, a toddler a pre-schooler. Then one day I looked down and she had different feet. Her big girl feet. Feet that have substance and a shape all their own. Feet that look like they will carry her through many adventures.
It is startling to me in a way. All of the females in my family have similar shaped feet. Evelyn's feet stand out. I imagine that her feet look like her Chinese Mother's. I imagine that the shape of them would seem so familiar to that woman if she could see them. At first I was unsettled by these new feet. This new shape on Evelyn's body. Now I love them. They are tiny and brown and perfect and they are strong. They have bony parts and her toes don't flow off her her foot like mine do. But I love them. They are hers.
All of our shapes do not have to match. I love the exotic-ness of her shapes.
Her almond eyes. That wedge of dark hair against her chin line. The shape of that chin line, how very definite but soft it is. The shape of her silhouette against a bright sky. The shape of that perfect nose. The various shapes that make up her hands, her wrists, her waist. The back of her neck....
That has changed too. The back of her neck. It used to be such a scrawny, hairless shape. I loved it , it looked like the neck of an impossibly small old man. I know that sounds crazy but that IS what it looked like and I loved it. Now she has a neck that is covered by her dark hair and it has filled out and strengthened. Sometimes I lift her hair up and search for the remnants of that tiny old man neck, it's there - if you know what to look for.
And oh! the shape of her big girl knobby knees.
I love the shapes that make up my daughter. They are so familiar to me but at the same time so different. My favorite shape right now though is the shape of those little feet. And the shape of her mouth as it smiles- that's a great one too.