Amidst all of the raging storms in my life right now, I have, surprisingly found a bit of peace and acceptance. For the first time in my life, I have a clear picture of how detrimental my constant worrying can be, not just to me, but, to everyone around me (think four mile radius).
So I let go. I prayed, not for these issues to be magically resolved. I prayed that I would be able to let go of the bad stuff, and hold on to what was good and precious. I prayed that I would find the strength to turn a corner. I waited and I listened and for the first time in 16 years, I let myself hear God in my husband's words.
This hasn't been easy for me. In fact, for the first 24 hours, it was a constant struggle to turn off the worry, to stop carrying the stress of outside forces into the intimate workings of our family. I have been given gentle reminders along the way. I have realized that not all things can be fixed in the blink of an eye.
The stress is still there, throbbing underneath but, I am managing it. Maybe I will get better at this as the days go on.
That's all that I am expecting of myself right now, baby steps. It feels ok.
5 comments:
I approve of the bit about hearing God in your husband's words. A very wise philosophy by which to live your life. You could also make him a nice, big sammich with all the fixins to show your gratitude for his guiding light. Also, maybe a cold beer and a pickle on the side. And bring his Churchill book--it's on the shelf. Speaking of Churchills, maybe you should bring one of his Montecristos from the humidor. Please don't forget to snip it and bring the lighter. Ah, there's a good lass . . .
Dear Anonymous,
Don't let things go to your head. Get your own cigar. OH! And about the sammich of gratitude? Let's not get ahead of ourselves.
i needed this. wow, how i needed this.
amazing where we sometimes hear god's voice (i want to slap anonymous who obviously MISSED THE POINT)- last night, it was in the deep sigh of my dog as i fretted over him with more hugs and kisses than he is used to. it said, "what-er-ya worryin' about? even if it's not okay, it is okay". and i drifted off to sleep myself.
Kitchu- I was ready to slap "anonymous" too until I read further and realized it was husband teasing me a bit! Apparently he jumped on the blog while I was doing laundry yesterday and left me a little jokey "hey we are still us" kind of joke. I have been chuckling and smiling over that guy since I read that comment.
I hope your pup is doing well, I am praying extra hard for him today. I have also heard God's voice in the sigh and purr of an animal- it's priceless.
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