The Jackhammer

Let me start off with a very, very simple statement- Evelyn Talks. Now, let me explain... Evelyn talks- all of the time- non-stop- in your face- answer requiring- talks. Evelyn talks all of the time. I am not sure that you can grasp this if you haven't been around her lately, for like, well, since she started talking. I have NEVER in my life heard a kid talk so much! I feel like some of you might be saying " Evelyn? Really? How bad can it be? Obviously that Michal is making use of hyperbole again just to be funny."
UMMMMM
Nope.
The kid talks people. You have no idea. Leslie and I really do call her The Jackhammer- because there is a constant rat-a-tat-tat of convo in your face from the moment that she wakes up until she falls asleep. Let me tell you, she starts talking to me in the morning, BEFORE SHE IS EVEN IN THE SAME ROOM WITH ME and she is still talking as I close her bedroom door at night AND THERE HAS BEEN NO NOTICEABLE BREAK.
Now I love my daughter dearly and would do anything for her. I love to hear what she has to say- just sometimes? I wish she would internalize her dialog. If you have a talkative child you can feel my pain - somewhat. If you have a quiet child, you live on a completely different planet than me and you should drop over some day in your rocket ship of sanity and give my tired ears a break-you listen to the endless lists of things that her Baby or Papa Juan have packed into imaginary backpacks, and I'll head out to a deep, dark forest and listen to myself breathe awhile.
I am pretty used to it by now and I do use the tricks of timers for "quiet play" and I am not shy about asking her to hold off on some talking while I say, use the facilities (because she WILL chatter thru a closed door at me the whole time I am in the bathroom). So I afford myself some breaks and I do set limits with her it's just- she's - well The Jackhammer.
I am mentioning this because she has ramped things up a bit lately and I am behind on my, much valued Ear Calluses and I have been noticing. We were driving two days ago, we were headed to my Mom's house. That drive lasts for 1 hour and 20 minutes and Evelyn talked every single second of the way. Well, except for when I burst out in Cleveland traffic and said "Ev you just have to stop talking now or I may have a car wreck!!!!! OKAY????" Do you know what she did? I'll tell you, she turned to Papa Juan (he is a stuffed orange tiger that was dressed in huge socks, a striped purple shirt and a baby doll diaper-his "Road Clothes") and said, in the most sarcastic tone she could muster, "Well ! Papa Juan I will just have to talk with you because obviously someone in this car can not drive AND talk at the same time" Yes, that's a quote- no hyperbole there either. And then she just talked to the tiger- at least she whispered for about 5 miles.
On the way home tonight? Same thing. Except in an attempt to put her to sleep I had the heater up a bit. So by the time we hit Cleveland again she went "whew! My mouth is so dry!!! I have talked this whole way home! Did you know that Mama? I talked the whole way. You are SO welcome for keeping you company"
Right now she is finally quiet for the day. I just peeked in her bedroom and saw her there all pink and cuddly and I was really wondering "oh what is she dreaming about?" I'll tell you this, I will only have to wonder for about 8 more hours as she will be telling me all about it, as she climbs out of bed, two rooms away.
If you doubt my ability to judge this Jabberwockie of a kid- just ask my Mom about it, or my Dad, or my Sister or Jodi- they'll tell you. It's really the only subject that any one of the above mentioned people ever, EVER give me any sympathy over. That's saying something.