I knew it would happen. That someday Ev would figure out the money thing and have some questions. In my mind we would have conversations about this, that were more like glancing blows than anything until she was like 16. In my mind at 16, she would ask for something or make a smart comment and I would say something along the lines of " Listen up kid when you have a job and are paying some of your own bills/expenses-THEN we can talk about how I spend my money-maybe".
Sigh.
It's not to be. I was forced to have this conversation with Evelyn already and it went like this:
E (after a Sam's club visit): Mama, I just don't know why you had to waste so much money at that place.
Me: Evelyn it really is not your business how and where I spend money. So, please do not think that you can talk to me about money, that is not your place.
E(worried now): It's just that was alot of toilet paper and we are almost out of bubble gum! I am just thinking about that.
Me: Listen up kid, I run the house so just stop worrying about things, I really do know what's going on and if you run out of bubble gum I am sure that you won't shrivel up and die-okay?
E (relentlessly forging ahead): Okay but how MANY DOLLARS was all of that stuff you bought?
Me: LISTEN WHEN YOU KNOW YOUR ABC'S AND CAN RECOGNIZE NUMBERS FROM 1-20?!?!?!? THEN, THEN MAYBE YOU CAN ASK ME ABOUT MONEY BUT NOT RIGHT NOW. GOT IT?
What the hell?!?!?!? I actually said that? Yes I did. And now you all have a glimpse into being Ev's Mama. The hits just keep on coming.....
THEN she says, with a sigh and a huff, "Well I am going to go up to my room and count my bubble gum, IF I have enough I will bring you a piece"....
I haven't been offered bubble gum in three days.
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