Ev's Father

I know that Father's Day has come and gone. I still want to say some things to my husband.

Leslie,
I was trying to say some of these things in Brennan's on Father's Day, you were there, I got teary eyed and nearly leaked onto my crab cakes so I had to change the subject. Maybe that was enough for you. Maybe you saw the look in my eyes and could understand in some way, the things that I was trying to get out. It is not enough for me though. I have things I want to say.
I remember laying on that hammock at that lake in New York as we talked about becoming a family of three. I remember thinking that it would be fun to watch you become a father. I was right. It has been fun and it has been a profound privilege.
I watch you with Evelyn and I see before me, this man that just gets it. You are kind and considerate to her. You think about preparing her for the world while keeping her safely tucked away at home. When you talk about her with me on those late nights in the kitchen, I can see the love you have for her shining out of your eyes. I watch you with her and I know that, that little body is what you most hold dear in this life. You know what? That does not make me jealous or leave me trying to figure out where I fit in. I see that and inside I think "yes, that's the way all daughters should be loved by their Papa's". And I know that your ability to father Evelyn in such a loving and complete way only adds to what we have together.
You simply "get" her. We know that she is a complex little girl and that you can understand that and love her around letting her be herself - that reveals alot about the man and father that you are.
I know that you will have a hard time accepting these things that I am saying. I know that you will remember the times that you have lost your temper or gone to bed feeling like you could have done better with her that day. That's okay. Because when those times come up, I see you get all quiet and broody and later we talk. Later you will talk about why you were short tempered and why you were not yourself with her, and then you change it. I have watched you apologize to her when no other parent would even consider such a thing. I have watched you leave yourself and every other concern behind and place her at the top of the list. There is a giggle that she has that I only hear when she is goofign off with you. How many parents have that? The girl adores you.
That is what great fathers do. They love, they play, they LIKE their children, they are human, they learn, they prepare, they adapt, they place the child before everything else.
You will have to trust me on this one, I know about great Fathers- I have one, I know all of the signs.
Michal