Near! Far!

If you can imagine Grover, right up against the tv shouting ,"near!", then dancing waaaaayy back until he is a tiny blue spot and shouting "far!"- you will have an idea of my emotional outlook concerning The Younger.
Some days I feel like having a second child, being a family of 4, having another small one to snuggle....all of those things is just so close that I get nauseous and shaky with anticipation.
Some days I feel like I am slowing struggling up the side of a mountain and that we will never get to the top.
I still have so much to do with the paper work. I have to start the rounds of Notarization, Certification and Authentication. As well as organize our papers for Immigration. I was also pursuing Evelyn's passport and I thought that was all taken care of and then "WHAM!"- I get a letter asking for her Certificate of Citizenship-which was sent along with her passport stuff-which means that somewhere between here and New Orleans her CofC has been lost - so I am following up on THAT. I am also still chasing my Ohio Nursing License and need to find a job.
Ironically, I have NOT been frantically working away like a busy little bee. I have been slacking. I have gone into my typical stress mode which is called "avoidance" to the rest of the world. I really need to stop being a baby and just jump on the bandwagon and I will.
I remember that I had a period like this with The Bean's adoption. I just shut down for a bit. You want the baby, you need the baby but the process of obtaining the baby just drains you until there is nothing left for awhile. It's a combination of stressor avoidance and also a certain amount of grieving.
YES!!!! I KNOW!!!!! Grieving?!?!?!?! What the hell?!?!?! BUT you do. You KNOW that everything is about to get all topsy turvy. You know that you want it to. It's just that well, it's going to change. So you think "here is the end of this part of my life". I know that what follows is better. I know that what follows is miraculous. It's just that it is new and different. And I REALLY can not wait for it to happen. Does any of that make ANY sense? To anyone?!?!?
Welcome to my crazy train.
I can spend entire days in the "near" phase OR seconds. The same goes with the "far" phase. You just karoom between the two extremes and hope to God in Heaven that some dufus doesn't loose any of your paperwork.
(But they do. In two adoptions I have had some government official-y place loose something-each time so far. That helps with the stress and the hand wringing and the roiling nausea. It really instills a feeling of Faith In Government kind of thing.)