I'm Gettin' It

I have had to stop my daily walking for a week now. I have that blasted tendonitis.
I was walking about 3.5 miles a day with Leslie. I am starting to look good. I have struggled with weight for years now. For months I have been lolling about- eating terrible and wondering why The Cosmos has done me wrong. Now I DO have PCOS (poly cystic ovary syndrome)- which is this thing that no one really understands so it is not even a DISEASE it's a SYNDROME people. The long and short of it is PCOS is a hormonal imbalance that disrupts the normal workings of fertility and insulin. It makes you fat. Indeed. That means that my body can not handle all of that sweet junk that I was constantly putting in my face. It just can't.

I woke up one morning a few weeks ago and something had changed. Instead of laying about and moaning about my fate- I decided to fight back. Things had been rolling about in my head for a bit, things like worrying over diabetes, tired of feeling miserable and hating myself, tired of not having any energy, tired of being a victim. Tired of hiding behind The Syndrome. The thing is, I looked at my family tree and wondered who in there had a strong will. I thought no one. Then I remembered my Grandpa Matt. He was diagnosed with Diabetes and he refused to let it get him. He controls his diabetes with diet and exercise- this is amazing if you don't know. I am a Nurse- I very RARELY see anyone fight so hard to do what their body needs. I realized that if Grandpa could do it- I could do it. I could fight back.

I started walking. I mean, that minute. I looked in the mirror, and I decided and I put shoes on and I went for a walk. I called Les afterwards and told him there was a new Sheriff in town. He said "You're back".

I did not stop with the exercise. I am watching what I eat. I have cut my calories down by 2/3. Yes, I am eating enough and I am not starving- that's just how much I would OVER eat before. I also went to the Doc and got back on some meds that help with PCOS. I am also taking a thing my sister found with research - it's an amino acid that PCOS'rs lack- it helps with that whole insulin/food thing.

You see I have lost weight and I am looking pretty good. I have lost over a whole inch on my waist, I have lost cellulite on my thighs, I have to tighten my belt more and some of my pants fall off of me. I haven't wanted to say much because I don't want to jinx myself. I want to keep the focus on DOING and not TALKING.

The other thing is that I have noticed a DRASTIC improvement in my mental state. I am more like myself. These past few months I had started to slide into Depression. Like no energy, hate myself, can't bother to cook, clean or play type stuff. I was still getting stuff done but it was a struggle. Now things are coming easier. I am laughing alot- like I used to. I am just better.

I think I will keep this exercise gig up. I like who I am on it.

I know this because during my week off to rest my leg- I have started to slide mentally a bit. I noticed yesterday that I didn't really care if I ate some chocolate. I was slipping....
We are headed out to the park right now and I can't wait to sweat and feel myself moving and know that I am doing more than changing my body. I am being the best that I can be for my family.

Les and I are doing this together which helps. He is right there with me. Otherwise I might not be so successful. (by the way he has lost over 20 pounds and looks like he did when we married)