All Stirred Up

This impending sibling business has Evelyn all of a dither.
Now, these are just my observations and never having added a child to a home where there are already children, I may be talking outta my rear end. BUT. I think the things that I am seeing in Ev are there because she's in flux. Her home is changing. She is already sharing that spotlight.
Well. Hum.
It's goes like this. There are a few Evelyns right now. One of the few things saving me is that the timing of these "moods" is rather stable, so each mood has it's time of day. That means I can keep reminding myself who's going to show up next and say my mantra :"swami mommy swami mommy it's a tough tough change for a tiny tiny muffin"
Mornings are good. She is always best in the morning. So she hits my lap or bedside all smiley and hopeful, lovey and warm.
Mid-morning she brings The Snark out for a run.
Afternoon is Faux Adult Evelyn.
Evening is reserved for Dreary Girl.
By bedtime I am band-aiding up about 5 imaginary boo-boos, cuddling a weepy girl and taking lots and lots of time to get this "Regressed Rita" into bed.
 I have had to drag her booster seat for the dinner table back down form the attic, she seems to be playing alot with the baby toys under the crib (like she used to, but how she knew this I don't know), we have even had to pick her up and put her in the crib for her to lay there and relax. She seems to have lost some of her ability to problem solve and the girl who wouldn't even think about letting me chose her clothes last week, will now wait patiently for me to deliberately take lots of time helping her. All of this coupled with random bouts of uber adult behavior: like driving advice or making lots and lots of very elaborate "what if" plans.

I am trying my best to give her that extra. The extra hug, the extra snuggles. The patient listening.
It's really not hard. I can see her struggling and I know why, and it's completely understandable. She's not going to be the solo act in this dog and pony show anymore. A brother is coming.
Her world is shifting.
She's trying to do it gracefully.
And for a five year old?
She's doing wonderfully.

She had to get three shots at the doctor today. In a way, I am glad. It means that there was a focus for all of these feelings. It means that she had a reason, that a vocabulary could be made, a dialog. I let her complain and cry. I let her lay on the couch until SHE was ready for bed. I even called her grandma at her request to tell of her trials.

She's afraid. Afraid of loosing us. Our love. This thing that we have.
I can not tell her so that she would understand. The only way for me to help her is to SHOW her. It will take time. We will have to go through this thing and get to the other side before she has her "ahh hah" moment.
Until then, I won't use words as my tools.
I will use this mother's love that runs so deep in me, it's almost painful.