Things

I think we are beginning to see some sort of light. We have had a few very nice evenings with the kids and I find myself being more tender and less.... stressy. Don't let me fool you- it's still hard. Adding another kid is like flipping your brain inside out and quadrupling the work that you have to do.
Plus! Les went back to work this past Tues and I have been doing the whole "just one of me and two of them" thing and that can get pretty tiring. Ev is having a few behavioral things that I pray to God know will shake out but man, it's hard to maintain stability when she is using a sippy cup like a bottle and rolling and whimpering, or when she decides that Liam can't do A SINGLE THING, or that very tiny bump, thump or barely there scratch needs "OMG CALL 911 I HAVE AN INJURY NOTICE NOTICE NOTICE OW OW OW IT HURTS OMG THE PAIN!". My sleep in highly variable because Liam's is. Cooking is an all out effort and war. I start each day tired and end each day tired-er.
But you know what?
I am lucky.
Lucky to have these particular struggles and lucky to be so busy with these two little people.
Lucky that so many people in my life look at my son and see the joy that he is.
Lucky to have a family and passel of friends that support us so much.
Lucky to have a husband that has been here every step of the way. I mean, here and present in a complete and real way.
Besides, look at them, it's not that hard to be in love and mine more energy out of this body to be what they need. It's not that hard to look at them and remember what it's all about.

It's not that hard except that it can be- and you fight it and try to find the best version of yourself to offer at the moment because that is the very least that they deserve.
My two little munchkins. My God how I love them.