Under The Weather

Two weeks ago, Leslie went to Detroit.
He brought us all gifts.
Gifts from Detroit.
Germs.
Detroit Germs.
Nasty, cruddy, "I hope that I will pass out from the overload of snot in my head and come-to, only when snot-free survival is imminent" germs. Germs that are making me wonder if I will succumb to this disease and wither and die. Germs that make me all whiney and wimpy and impart the absolute knowledge that no one, no where has EVER had a cold this bad. I, Michal, have the worst cold ever known to man. The CDC should be here studying me or giving me high level, new, men in black type drugs to help me along(either to death or health I don't particularly care at this point).
Please note that we are all three sick at the same time.
Leslie has called off for 1 and a half days of work this week and he NEVER does that. He says to me "wait until it moves down to your chest" like that's supposed to infuse me with hope and light. Like that is supposed to make me jump up and scramble HIM an egg? He brought this plague upon us, technically, I would be with in my rights to burn him at the stake. Right? RIGHT?!?!?! (I thought so) He does not get a scrambled egg from me!!!
The Bean is pale and headachy.(she does still rate a scrambled egg as she did not INTRODUCE this interloper)
Please note that I, the MOTHER am suffering the worst. I have the most ear pain, the worst head ache, the most congested sinuses, the most aches in my body, the most watery eyes, the loudest sneezes, and my spine seems to have turned into a long jello jiggler. So there.
(It's true I am quantifiably sicker than the rest)
(I am sick I tell you. Sick.)
We are existing on O.J. and scrambled eggs because that's all me and/or Les can handle.


PS "Typhoid Phil" as I have been calling him, did eventually get an egg. It was just that I had some left over. Not that I felt sorry for him , sitting there all pale and coughy. It's not like I appreciate his million apologies. It's not like he cleaned the down stairs while I was napping (sleeping in a drug induced haze). SHEESH!