Billy Bones Here....

Mom is busy today and I thought I would jump on the old innernets and tell you all about my day from cat hell yesterday. So mostly cats cant type but I do have 23 toes so, that helps.
Okay. Yesterday. It started off bad when The Mom Person forgot to give me my special meaty delishous food (even though I tried to remind her by winding about her feet and saing "food food food"). Then I was stepped on! Right in the kitchen! Secondly all of the humans were outside and I was made to stay inside with closed windows (prisoner much?) Okay, then to distract myself from my prison state and to keep track of how many circuits of the house I make, I went into the attic (thank The Dad Person for that ladder thing being left down) and I got this cool black dirt allover my feet and I walked around. It was really cool to see my footprints allover. I thought so anyway but then The Mom Person saw them and went around wiping them all away, I mean she even got the ones that I left on the walking board over the fireplace and off of the window ledges and off of the couch (there are a few on the basement floor that she didn't see- heh heh). THEN THEN - they picked me up and..... well, The Dad Person held me still while The Mom Person WIPED ALL OF THE BLACK STUFF OFF! I tried to tell them that I wanted it there and I had to put all of those prints back because I was running an experiment but, they kept cleaning so I tried to bite them- that was a bad idea, the humans don't understand what I call Teeth Talk.
Fine. Then they were dressing the Little Squeaking One and I needed into her drawer to check on her clothes and see if they had enough of my hair on them and then maybe take a nap, but you know what? That small one was squeaking at The Mom so fast that The Mom forgot about my Drawer Inventory and my tail got hurt in the closing if that drawer! Then as The Mom Person was making food on the hot top for the humans I tried to remind her again about MY food, but, well, she stepped on me again! What a day. Sometimes I worry about these humans.

I have to admit here that The Mom did make things up to me- eventually. I did get my good food, plus a snack, then she brought out my special furry blanket and I laid there and let her give me a massage so she wouldn't feel so guilty-- she's only human afterall. I'll probably stay with them but it was close for awhile.

Billy Bones