Evelyn Gave Me Hell

Well, not hell but a rough day. It's just her being , you know, four and me being you know, 35. We happened to be out and about when she decide it was time to once again , test Mama's resolve. I brought her home and put her down for a nap and then fumed. And fumed.

As part of my decompression ritual, I got on-line to read the blogs of others (hey no laughing it works for me). So I was reading and reading and I came across the blog of a family that just picked up their daughter on Sept 17 in China. I watched a video of this tiny little girl. Now that I have my daughter from China and I know a bit about her, I can watch those videos with a different slant. I used to watch them and look at the mothers and how happy they were and how cute the baby's were and I couldn't get enough. Now I watch and I still see those things, but I also see the fear and absolute confusion of the baby's. I see how they are wondering about these people and worrying about what has just happened to where they used to live. I see the pain that they will be experiencing for a time.

So I have this daughter that started off that alone and afraid and now she can give me hell. That's pretty cool. I have this bright and vibrant , tiny girl that is no longer shell shocked. This diminutive figure that can put her hands on her hips and give me some 'tude. That's pretty cool too. I'll take it. It means that she is a "normal" four year old and we are just like any other family. It means that the love Leslie and I have for her has drowned out everything bad and she can toss some attitude our way and know that she is still loved and with us at bedtime. She knows that and THAT is what's cool.

That little one I watched today will be fine, Her parents are doing the right thing. When families come together through adoption, it's a miracle. One day that little girl will look at HER Mom and she will mouth off and that will mean that she is okay , that they are all okay, and that too is cool.

So I will take some bad mouthing and stubbornness because in the end it's what I always wanted.