We are planning on Home Schooling Ev. The why and how of that and the reactions we have encountered are another entry. THIS entry is about something that happened during one of her "school" sessions. Nobody freak out, she is not a slave to the grind here, she gets TEN MINUTES only a few days a week. Usually this is with Les and they cover basic numbers and letters recog. No biggie. Sometimes they play Boggle Jr. , sometimes we all play Uno (Ev usually wins by the way) - things like that.
Well about three sessions ago, they hit a snag with the number 10. This is a number that Ev knows, we know she knows it, she knows that we know that she knows it. She just got stubborn about it. The problem is that Les got a bit frustrated that first time and ended the session. You can guess what happened-she learned something.
The other thing is that I have been working alot with Ev and her emotions. She will let you know that she loves you and she can talk about positive emotions really well. Not so much with the negative ones. You can know in your bones that Ev is mad at you and she would NEVER ever admit it. I don't think this is healthy. I think that a person should be able to say that you have made them mad and why and that way everyone can talk about it. That's just the way I roll. That's the way that I think a family works best. I want Ev to be able to talk about ALL things with Leslie and I. I need her to see that we are still around and full of love for her- even if she is mad. Let's face it, sometimes children are perfectly justified in being a little peeved at their parents.
So yesterday this whole "I don't know 10 and then Papa gets frustrated Experiment" went a bit haywire. There were raised voices(both of them) and tears (Evelyn). Evelyn came into the room where I was and she was crying, that "I am so pissed I could scream cry" I knew that she was MAD versus frustrated or hurt or chagrined. I KNEW that she was mad. I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to talk with her about it. I reminded her that we are all people and people can get mad at each other and that's okay, it just not okay to not talk about it. I explained (for the hundredth time) that if you can tell someone you are mad and why, then they can talk about it with you and everyone can try to do better the next time. I just watched her face for a minute and when she calmed down a bit more I said "Are you mad at Papa?"
She nodded her head yes!!!!!!! HA HA!!!!
First of all, I was a bit full of myself because for once I was NOT the parent that got loud.(yes!) Secondly, she has been mad at me like about a gajillion times and NEVER mad at him.(yes!)
Most importantly, for the first time ever she admitted to anger. (YES!)
She would not tell me WHY she was mad, she just admitted that she was. But it's a start in the right direction.
Leslie apologized to her and they made up and agreed to try and be better the next time. Then Ev took a nap.
I would say that progress was made.
P.S. Is it normal that I was so gloat-y that she was mad at her Papa? Maybe not but I never claimed to be perfect.
P.S.S Les was taken a-back, quite a bit when he realized that she was mad at him. I assured him that he would, indeed get used to it. I mean, I have. She will be a teenager one day afterall.
No comments:
Post a Comment