Two nights ago I laid Evelyn down for bed with the requisite hugging and snuggling and the whispering of secrets. I tucked her in and then headed back downstairs to watch some vintage Indiana Jones action with Leslie.
Later, we trudged tiredly up to bed with that theme song still ringing in our ears. We were joking and laughing-like we do.
I checked on Ev and she was fine, I covered her up and snuck back out of her room. I was still in the hall talking with Les when Ev hollered out "MMMMAAAAAMMMMMAAAA!!!!!!!" I rushed right over to her door, flung it open and got right down next to her bed. She was crying, she was laying there perfectly still but casting wide eyed looks at her bedside table. I thought she was having a nightmare. I was trying to get her to talk with me when I heard Leslie say "bug". I looked and there was the tiniest fruit fly type of bug crawling along her table edge.
I squashed it. That action took about a nanosecond.
The bug was gone. Evelyn sucked in some snot and looked at me with a big bright smile that let me know that I was her hero. In one instant her terror in the night was gone. In one instant I was the bringer of joy. I was her Mama.
I hugged her again. And kissed her about 500 times. Then I went to my own bed.
The thing is, I am not always going to be able to squash the things that scare her or make her sad. I am not always going to be able to jump in her room, force the dark away and literally kill the thing that has caused her grief.
But I will try to keep it up as long as I can.
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